• Because I need to get this off my chest

    by  • June 14, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Acceptance • 0 Comments

    to the various men in my life….
    I can understand that it isn’t easy being the man of the house especially when working on building the new house and all we apparently so is shoot down your ideas. Shooting down only happens when we see something going wrong somewhere at somepoint. is there really a need for the things you want to build? You and mum want me to have a biggish wedding inspite of my request to keep things small… the rate at which you’re going there’s going to be nothing to have a wedding let alone a dinner!…. and if you want to go and beat someone up because yuou seem to have temper issues, I apologize for thinking it might ruin my wedding plans because you might go to jail. Please don’t let me stop you from potentially murdering someone just months before I get married. If you say you’ve got a lot more things to worry about, maybe I shouldnt get married and that might be a burden off your shoulders. You want to be rude and aggressive towards everyone at home? Please be my guest. just dont expect me to take it lying down. FUCK YOU.
    i love you and am looking forwarsd to life with you. but even after 9 years together it sometimes feels like you dont know me.I keep making plans to do things together and all you do is make your own and im the one left feeling like an idiot for having decided anything in the first place. Granted, you made the effort to spend some quality time over the last week, but then why do I feel like att that getting upset for was just so you can get back to your life and im left all by myself wandering around thinking how ive probably wasted my life.
    thank you for breaking up with me and teaching me how not to suck at relationships. not that it worked because ive done enough that im not proud of.But it felt nice to have you over the last time and finally get closure.
    I still care about you a lot, probably even love you in some strange twisted way that makes it seem so right but so wrong at the same time. I still feel bad about what happened with S, but I really really hope youre much happier with her now. I still think of the time you asked to be kissed and despite skirting the topic we went ahead and stole a couple of kisses later. I was confused about my feelings for you since they conflicted with the relationship i was already in, and they werer pretty strong. your last trip here cleared things out for me.I decided i couldnt keep mooning over what I could never have and literally forced you out of my system. I still care deeply for you and always will
    You’re one of the nicest people ive come across regardless of what you say about your past. Ive caught myself talking about you a lot, thinking about you even. sometimes it feels like having fallen in love with a friend.So.
    Im letting all of you go now. I love you

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