• Playlist

    by  • June 11, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    I’m sitting on the couch listening to ZZ Ward last love song and crying my eyes out. Remember how we always joked that our relationship had it’s own playlist?
    (Yes I’m saying relationship, friendship isn’t really strong enough at this point is it?)
    We have a song to add.
    Although no matter how many songs I write about coming back to reality or moving on there will never be a last love song to you from me.
    I wish you were just a fling. I wish you were a nervous breakdown bad decision.
    I wish that I could move on from my feelings and stop thinking and dreaming about you every second of every day.
    You and I are easy. I don’t have to worry about common interests or conversation because we’re already best friends.
    Or were I suppose.
    Bad decisions create distance it seems and now…I miss you. Because you think we can’t handle being together without…being together.
    Maybe you’re right. I respect you and I love you and I love her. And of course there’s him.
    All of this is selfish and reckless.
    And maybe we can’t be friends…you haven’t said as much but your stalwart responses speak for themselves.
    So much about this doesn’t make sense and I am aching to be with a man who isn’t and never has been mine and I’m putting aside logic and morals and everything that has always been part of who I am.
    And I fell almost from moment one and I knew we would never have the right timing.
    I’m grateful to have had even a small glimpse into what being us would be.
    It’s awesome by the way. We would work.
    I don’t regret you. I never could.
    I only hope you don’t regret me.

    Related Post

    Leave a Reply