• Incest is weird, but I really like you, Bro.

    by  • June 8, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Family Stuff • 0 Comments

    I never thought it was weird, but apparently everyone else did. I never thought that it wasn’t normal for a sister to actually enjoy spending time with her brother. I mean, truly, I always believed that brothers and sisters made the best friends, and I had several reasons why:

    1. They’re sort of obligated to love you, because your parents tell them so
    2. You have the same genes, so you definitely have something in common
    3. They’re never going to try to steal your lover, unless one of you is gay. And in that case, it’s highly unlikely that your lover would be attracted to them anyway, so there’s really no threat there
    4. It’s highly unlikely that they’re going to look better than you do when wearing your clothes
    5. One day your parents will die, and it’s a whole lot easier to split the goods if you get on with the person you’re trying to outbid
    6. It’s really fucking hard to stay mad at someone who came out of the same vagina as you did

    But apparently they’re only reasons to love a brother, not to actually like them. And God forbid if you can compliment your brother, or acknowledge that he’s a decent looking human. What I don’t get is why it’s okay for sisters to do that. I mean, I constantly hear stories about how “hot” my friends sisters are. And that’s all well and good, but if I so much as suggest that you’re a good looking dude, it’s all “HOLD THE FUCK UP” and, “That’s creepy, you can’t say that about your brother”.

    I mean, for fuck’s sake! If you gave me stilts, a beard and about 50kg worth of muscle, I would literally become you. Now, I do not feign to possess one shred of false modesty. I am fucking sexy human being. So given the fact that the second sentence of this paragraph is true, you must therefore be at least semi decent looking.

    Now I’m not saying that I’m attracted to you. If anyone reading this is thinking that, I’d like to direct their gaze back to the title of this rant.
    You know, I really can’t describe why it is that I like you. It’s obviously got nothing to do with the fact that we have pretty much everything in common. It definitely can’t be that you’re a moral citizen and a good person. Nah, it’s because I’m fucking weird.

    But seriously, if I achieve nothing else by posting this, I’d just like to make it known that I really like who you are. And I honestly don’t give two shits if anyone else judges me for it, because at the end of the day, you’re the only person who knows everything about me. You’re my best mate, and I love you.

    Thanks for being cool.

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