It’s been over a year and not a single day has passed that i haven’t thought of you, and i mean it, every day i wish and wish i had never said i love you. I wish because it would mean you would be in my life still.
Over the months i heard about you, even saw you a few times. I want to cry, but men don’t do they. I would do anything for you. And i heard more of you today, not good things either, but somehow i could not see the wrong, i could only wish still, wish i could have been beside you and holding your hand because i don’t care what you do, you are so wonderful. I ache so much, if i could grant you your dreams, even though they do not include me, i would.
I am sure you never ever think of me, and if you do it is only in hate, funny how friends can become as nothing for the cause of one loving the other.
I know in my anger at your words i lashed out, but even though you said such as made it clear you think i am too ugly, too anti everything you could want…..Well, it did hurt me, a lot and it does every day. But good came too, because if not for that there are several things i never would have done.
So you changed me and progressed me from what i was, and there is more to come, though you will never care, it is like i am trying to be the man you could have loved if it was different.
But why i am writing today is just because it is hurting a lot.
I have no doubt you never ever come here,chances are less than 1/1000000 and as much again, if you did, that you’d know who i am, but it is a small release.
Do you know i have wished every day, every damn day to see you, hear you talk to me, see you smile at me, i love you so much, i would die for you.
You are, in everything you are, absolutely perfect, no one is more….more anything.
To me, you are everything and perfect.
I wish there was a way you could see my mind, feel what i feel just for one day.
I miss you so incredibly much and it hurts all the more when, as i contemplate the past, an imaginary future, and the now, that as i think of the now, i know the harsh reality, you do not think of me at all, i love you not just now, but until the end of all awareness of you. When i no longer have any knowledge of who you are then i may find peace.
Until then, my most beautiful and precious angel, i love you, unconditionally and continuously.
I will think of you every day.
Missing you, loving you, amazed by you
You are and always will be, my perfect ONE