• sarah this one’s for you

    by  • March 31, 2015 • To You • 0 Comments

    Read something today that kind of changed the whole way I saw you, see I used to be so devoted to you so hung up and I’d do anyhing for you but in that split second I read what I read I had a stabbing pain in my heart I actually felt it phisically twang and it fucking hurt.

    I never thought I’d read what I read and I always believed you when u said you liked talking to me not that you had to avoid me..

    But when I read the bit where it said you avoided me so you didn’t have to reply well let me just tell you that fucking hurt more than u could ever imagine and u know what I am not going to bother with you anymore I’ve always been there for you when no fuckers else was…me… I was!! Well you know what I can’t be fucking bothered with you and your drama anymore I’m sorry actually no I’m not fucking sorry I am supposed to be your best friend and your supposed to be mine but clearly your fucking not by what I saw today I don’t even know if you realised that you screenshotted that along with the other messages that you screenshotted and sent or if you just had the ordasidy to think that it wouldn’t effect us …see I’ve always said you could do anything that you could murder somene and I’d get the shovel joking around but I meant it because we were tight…

    I’ve always listened to your drama I’ve always been here to comfort you to talk to you to make sure your okay and for what ? Nothing just me being me and being a good friend that’s the thing you never really had anything to offer me which is quite strange because I am one of these people who has to have something to gain in order to give but with you it was different I gave myself to you for nothing I did it because I loved you and you have just stamped all over my heart…It makes me wonder what the reasons were u gave to the person in question as to why you needed to avoid me …am I really that bad do I really bother you that much …

    I can’t belive what I’ve read I’m utterly shocked I’m kind of stunned I just sat there staring into space when I read that how could you..I really thought u were different and today it’s shown me what you are really like and your not the person I thought u were see I used to put up with the whole ignoring me thing whilst you were with him because aparently u never touched your phone but now I know that’s all fucking bollocks the countless nights I txted you to check you were ok or judt to talk to my so called friend you sat and watched my name pop up and blatenly avoided going online so u didn’t have to reply well you know what..
    Thanks a fucking lot
    I may regret what I have written later but right at this moment this is how I feel and these are my feelings so I’m writing them down to get them out because unlike you I don’t have a best friend I can just txt and tell them what is going on …because you were meant to be that person but I guess your not …They say every rose has its thorn and I’ve just been cut open on one of yours…again.

    Not lots of love anymore no more mwahs and kisses no more miss yous and no more love yous because u don’t avoid people you love.

    You know the saddest thing I will prob regret this letter later I will prob feel guilty and I will still be here for you playing the devoted loyal friend role even though you hurt me so much, I will still be there because deep down I do love you and it’s stupid how u hurt me and ill just carry on as normal I won’t even say anything to you about it I will just pretend I never saw it..

    It’s tragic IN a saddo way.

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