all i want to do is pain, i want to hurt and want to feel pain, if its you breaking my heart or me cutting, i want to feel something else the sadness. i don’t know why i feel like this, i don’t think the pills are working anymore. i have a good life .. but why this sadness? and when i see my Doc, oh I’m fine, all smiles, I’m fine, but then months later this feeling, where i want something but i don’t know what it is, if it’s food, or sleep, cubbles or pain. i hate myself in this days, i just need something. but what?