• Nobody really knows what I think or feel

    by  • March 25, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 0 Comments

    Dear Stranger,

    It’s been a crazy twist of events these past 21 years. Well I’ve only been alive for 21 years and I have changed as a person. Maybe for the better or for the worst, who knows? All I know it’s been a long life so far. I’m a mother of a little girl who I dearly love. I’ve been in a relationship with the father of my daughter for almost five years. I’m a stay at home mom and I hate it. I don’t attend school because I don’t qualify for FAFSA and we don’t have any extra money laying around to at least help me attend any community classes. I know that this may not seem like a big deal to you and it seems that I’m being dramatic. But listen I’ve always been one to enjoy learning and having a education. I always dreamed I would have a good successful life. I was trying and then boom I got pregnant. I was already planning on gettting an abortion but then I was too far along. I didn’t know I was pregnant because I usually end missing my period for a month or two every year so at first that’s what I thought happened. Then I took a pregnancy test…. positive. Well not lets skip ahead I’m happy with my little girl. I can’t imagine without her now. She’s my precious little girl. For the meantime I want to get a job and start out somewhere. Have some extra cash flowing so my family won’t have to depend on my parents or in laws for any help. I keep applying and I’m getting no calls back from most places. Places that have called for a interview usually end telling me they want someone with experience from a previous job. How can I gain experience if nobody gives me a chance? I’m a hardworker and I don’t give up easily. I feel like I’ll never get anywhere in life. I’ll just be known as a stay at home mom for the rest of my life. As much I would be with my kid all the time. She’s just going to grow up and see me still as a stay at home mom. I want to prove to her that you can do anything if you have hope and stay strong because good things will comes to those who deserve it. Sometimes I think that I’ll get that chance to become a professional baker and maybe have my own business. I want to prove to her that there’s more to life than being a stereotypical house wife. I want to show that you have a education, a career, and a family while being happy. I’m nowhere close to what I want to show her. I don’t think I ever will. I guess I’ll just stay on the computer and hope for a better future.

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