• best friend S

    by  • March 25, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 1 Comment

    Maybe you will stumble upon this ? Maybe you won’t either way I have to get this off my chest judt lately i feel as I’f we are drifting apart like you have given up with our friendship or maybe you have found a new toy to entertain you whilst you are bored, what I mean is I know I can see you blatenly come online on WhatsApp and sit online obviously replying to somone else and then when you have replied to them and finished your convo, you reply to what I have put.. even if you have text me first.

    I always seem to get you attention last and it’s starting to really hurt me because it never used to be like that we used to click and have such a connection I always put you first and u used to me too now it seems I’m just there convenient when you feel like it .. yeah we are still best friends and we talk daily but it isn’t the same I feel pushed out and it isn’t just the texting …dont you think I’ve noticed how close you have become to Z in the last few months your always out together and going out drinking and even away to a certain place for the weekend beginning with a B now you’ve decided to go to L with her on your birthday you know what hurts the most I haven’t seen you in monhs and we came up to visit you in Jan yet you could have come visit us with the money you spent on your weekend away with her and the other girls you say you miss me and us but you haven’t exactly put in the effort to come visit.

    it seems you have forgotten me and are only reminded when I remind you … to be honest I feel fucking shit you’ve made me cry so many times over the most perf things you’ve done …yea I agree I’m a little insecure but still you are practically actin like she is your best friend these days and you think it doesn’t hurt ..well let me tell you it does more than you will ever imagine we’ve been best friends for a few years and I’ve knowN you for so many years I’ve become used to you and me and our little chats and laughs and our fucking connection I feel like I’m losing you to her and it’s breaking my heart I can’t do anything about it but sit by and watch I guess maybe I should go and find someone else who I can be friends with who I can have fun with but you are always my first choice.

    yes we dont live by each other anymore but I can’t stand to go on Facebook and see what you and Z are up to this week with you fucking status tags and the way she is with you like she’s your best frigging friend noooo that’s meant to be me, that is why I deleted my Facebook because I saw how you changed you profile pic to you and her like I don’t notice everything that goes on because I do..I’m judt fucking hurt ok I can see how this is turning out soon enough I’m going to be pushed aside and forgotten about C whos just a distant memory ?

    I would love to sit here and say no we have a strong enough connection for that to every happen and you have said to me before oh I could never replace you, well you know what you are doing a fucking fine job of that at the minute you di a great job of making me feel like shit when all I’ve done is be there for you night and day any time I always chose you I always will maybe that’s the problem maybe I’m always to available to you when you need some one to talk to or tell about your relationship problems and people will probably say I should be privileged that you come to me with them but I dont just want to be a problem solver or advisor I want all of what you have to offer theses days I want to have my best friend back that I used to have …I feel lost without you S I really fucking miss you and I can’t bare the thought of losing you I just feel like I already am you don’t even realise that half the time maybe all the time my sadness is about you somehow it’s you ita always you , you either ignore me or talk to me once uve chatted to you friends at work or I’m seeing a status about you and z or your telling me about where you going g with her or what you’ve done I fucking hate it and it really makes me helpless to think im losing you to her , you work together you go cinema you go for drinks on weekends and to the football you stay over and go away certain weekends on drinking weekends away and now you go running twice a week together…im sure you would feel the same …so here’s my rant I fucking love you and I’m scared of losing you. My insecurities are obviously clear but they aren’t all insecurities I can see what’s happened she’s become the new me and I’ve been replaced. It’s such a shame because we had some awesome years as friends and I can’t take watching this anymore it hurts to much so I guess this a way of saying I’m going to carry on slipping into the background until I can slip away Un noticed because I can’t stop this bitch taking you away from me …you know how stupid I feel writing this when I’m 26 years old when it sounds like a 13 year old has written it …but this is my feelings and everything uve said here is true you hurt me more than anyone in this world I just wish you’d wake up and see i love you more than any friends you have in your life or will ever have I love you more than you could ever imagine and although they say fight for what you love…There is no point fighting when you are outweighed and I guess the under dog she has the car the boyfriend with all the money the fake tit’s long hair the girly clothes and the money to buy what she wants she works with you so sees you every day I now see you once every few months there’s just no winning so I’m giving up its hurting me to much . I’m sorry

    I love you but I can’t take it anymore.

    Always be here for you if you ever remember
    who I am and what we were..
    your best friend C xxxx

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    One Response to best friend S

    1. c
      March 26, 2015 at 1:00 pm

      Note to self don’t write when drunk…emotions take over!!



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