• Fin darling, for good.

    by  • March 24, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 6 Comments

    I am very sorry that my timing was so bad. However, i am not sorry for what happened between us. We both had a lot of questions that we never had the nerve to ask in our younger days. All the deep feelings and secrets living in our hearts, we were able to finally share with each other. Not a lot of people are given such a chance. I kept my life safely hidden while diving deeply into your space, and for good reason.

    So glad i did too. After things got bumpy, you got angry. Talk about flashbacks. You know, I’ve read that people who were abused can have ptsd…

    All this time and you haven’t changed a bit. Hell, your are worse. At least i can admit my mistakes, you wouldn’t admit anything. You couldn’t just say you were sorry.

    You wanna know why i reached out? Half of me did it for closure, the other half was just a lost soul, grasping for comfort while my life was crumbling apart.

    You sweet bastard. You did help. You more than anyone else in this world could. When you gave me the answer to a question that kept me a prisoner to the hope of any life with you.

    Now, i have been reborn in some ways. Able to love freely without guilt. In a whole hearted way. It feels lighter in my deepest parts, and there is no anger, or hate, i cannot even fathom feeling that way. There is no longing or belief anymore either…just peace.

    It is that peace i want you to find as well. Stop looking for me, I’m not there. I’m not looking for you. Stop believing, the spirit of my love for you has dissipated, served is purpose and moved on,it no longer exists, don’t worship an empty temple. Live life knowing love knew you. Keep your heart and mind open.

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    6 Responses to Fin darling, for good.

    1. C
      March 24, 2015 at 9:16 pm

      Where you are…no anger, no fear, I have been in turmoil for this man since November 2014. I truly need to stop believing he is looking for me, because the truth is he isn’t. Thank you for this reality check. I want to heal. For the spirit of my love for him to exist no more, and to desire a renewal of our friendship no more. Because I can bear no more sadness. I’m ready to be more, to be happy, to get back to living and working to my best potential, and appreciating those who’ve stuck by me in true friendship so love can find a way. Open heart, open mind, open spirit. Thank you. ~ C




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    2. Machaivelli
      March 24, 2015 at 11:52 pm

      I don’t get it… what’s wrong with you? Seriously. Send the damn letter and the poor guy know. Why the hell is this a letterillneversend??? You’re the one doing the rejecting. Grow up.




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    3. people are strange
      March 25, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      A strange letter.




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    4. Strange responses too.
      March 25, 2015 at 1:00 pm

      @Machaivelli – You’re the one doing the projecting?




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    5. A
      March 25, 2015 at 7:14 pm

      I’m sorry, but you sound so up your own self. I feel sorry for this guy, you are talking about. Grow some and tell the poor guy.




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    6. author
      March 26, 2015 at 6:16 am

      C- thank you, positive thoughts= a positive life
      Machiaveli – a very famous liar, nice handle, says a lot

      Listen, this letter is strange, and here for my protection, and my sanity. This man was very rough with me as kids, beat a child out of me as teens, and so much more that yeah, I’m kinda fucked up now. We went our separate ways YEARS ago. Ive done no contact, been in recovery, and am trying to be a whole spirit again.Dont worry GUYS, he knows.




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