• Saw you crossing the road

    by  • March 19, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 3 Comments

    You looked up, i looked up, our eyes met, i froze, i had been thinking of you, literally minutes earlier. I had been thinking that when next i see you i would mouth the words “Still” or, “forever” something, anything to let you know that i still love you, always will.
    Why can’t i drown you out of me, every goddamn day i wake up and not ten minutes have passed before i think of you.
    Oh the dull ache of unending sorrow.

    You will likely never know how i love you even though i told you, the reason being that since we don’t talk anymore, i can’t tell you.
    Here i can cry a river to anyone and no one. Indeed when i first knew i had lost you from my life, i did cry. What a laugh, me who thought himself stone cold, crying because i love you so much i would die for you.
    Who loves so much this woman who, i see as perfect, and who i think, deserved to know they are loved, deserved to be trested like they are the only and most precious.

    My heart knows no release without that smile, and what i woudln’t give to be the cause of it.
    You will be loved not just for a while, but for always, until i cease to have awarness of you.

    You’ll be so loved i shall pray you find joy and all happiness, even if not with me.

    3 Responses to Saw you crossing the road

    1. tricia
      March 19, 2015 at 10:43 am

      This is a heart fluttering letter but also heart breaking. Why can’t you be with the girl this letter is intended for? Whether the odds stacked against you for the moment being, would that “cease,” ever having that chance together? I’d hope that I could eventually be with (beyond me dreams) with the man that I fell so hopelessly in love with.. No other guy could hold a candle nor will they ever to him. He has it all. I hope that you two get to share how much you love each other not just from afar . I feel this letter.

    2. tricia
      March 22, 2015 at 8:05 am

      I was hoping for a response from the author but sometimes no news is good news??? This letter touched base with me for many reasons.. funny how timing with some of these letters; throws you for a loop… best of luck.

    3. Author
      March 22, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      Hi Tricia, the answer is, she never loved me except as a friend, when i told her i loved her and how much, that was it.
      I wish i had never told her. I love her so much that if i had to take care of her if she were ill or hurt, i’d wipe her bum, clean her, dress her, give my blood, organs. Fce my fears for her.
      I am not attractive enough for her, not that she is shallow, just the simple human attraction and emotion was not there for her to me.
      I am so sorry because in being near her, a smile made me happy, in being away, i miss her face, i miss her voice, her simple presence.
      I wish so much i’d had a dream come true so i could show her every day that i would love her through the best and the worst, support her in any and every way.
      But you get it Tricia, i struggle to define by words yet you know. And we both know, there is no alternative, only second best.
      I guess time may heal it has not in over a year, but i hope eventually it will.
      There’s another letter here called you are enough for me-The content is not what i want to say, but those words are. so often i had heard her say things she felt bad or rubbish about, and i wanted to say, you are you, and that is enough because you are perfect.
      But i am left with dreams.

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