I knew what was going to happen before I even really knew him. It was just one of those things you know when your eyes meet someone else’s, before even saying a word- it seemed like that was what the universe had planned for me, to put him in my path. I knew it wasn’t going to be just a casual friendship either. He wasn’t just some kid in my junior year college class sitting in the row in front of me- no, he was different. Our souls were meant to find each other. It wasn’t that simple though. For one thing- he had a girlfriend and I was still dating my high school sweetheart. So there was that. Also, we were two people who were never meant to be so close; that much was obvious. He was a bad boy. A player. A crook, and quite God knows what else. And he was proud of this. I was a laid back good girl whose idea of breaking the rules was to go see a movie on a school night when I had an upcoming paper due. Badass, I know. Nonetheless we found each other. One faithful day -after I had vowed not to talk to him because I knew how it would end- he found me walking out of the building to my last class. I will never forget the fire in his eyes that day..or in mine for that matter, it was like my soul had suddenly become whole. He sparked up conversation, of which I briskly tried to get out of. He told me to email him because he had a great article for my essay I was writing for our class together. When I told him I changed topics, he offered to help me. Being the optimist that I was I accepted. He sparked up conversation about his girlfriend and he fighting and wanting to end things. He asked about my boyfriend. He said we should hang out sometime, so I- again being the optimist that I was- accepted. We met in the library, where we innocently flirted and where I ultimately left him because I had class and where he said he would be afterwards waiting for me to return. We talked into the night. In the days that followed we became closer. Still innocent, but closer than I had felt with anybody in a long time. Closer than my boyfriend had let me get that’s for sure. He invited me to see his apartment the following week- which I declined. I was still loyal to my boyfriend. But he had me thinking..what would it be like? Dating him? Holding him at night? Kissing him? Making love to him?…I couldn’t think this day, after all he had a girlfriend right?
Wrong. On the drive home from thanksgiving break, I saw his status on Facebook. He had ended it. I texted him to make sure he was ok. He said he was glad his relationship ended the way it did. He said that I was the last person that should be sorry. I didn’t know what that meant.
He tried to get closer to my boyfriend. And my friends. And me. And I was the only one who seemed to want anything to do with him. I took him to a friends party, I had dinner with him on multiple occasions, we worked out together, studied together.
We always had fun
And that’s when shit hit the fan. Me and my now ex ended up breaking things off around April of my junior year. It wasn’t working anymore. We decided to remain friends.
I told him, and he joked that I should hook up with him to get back in the game. I took it as a joke and laughed. Then he graduated. During the summer we spoke almost every day- as we always did. I couldn’t wait to see him when I came back to school my senior year because I had realized I had fallen in love with him.
And that was exactly what he wanted
I didn’t see him that semester. He was always too busy or too tired or the drive was too far (30 minutes). He would go weeks without answering my texts or calls. He made me want him even more
And then one day he did show up. The first day of my last semester like it was his plan. We talked and chatted and flirted and then we made love. It wasn’t sweet or romantic. But it was still with him so I didn’t care. He didn’t reach out to me for days after that, until one night I drunkenly texted him. He called me and slept over. The next morning it was just like we were old friends again, which I was ok with. But then he disappeared again. For weeks. I called him out on it and asked what I had done. He said nothing and we were cool. The next week he got a girlfriend. I was happy for him, however he was always vague. Another game most likely.
I graduated and moved back home. Soon after he called me and said he was single. He strung me on like this for another 6 months, until one day I asked him.
What do you want? Will we ever be together, even as friends again?
We are just friends, he replied. Nothing more. And I don’t sleep with my friends. Stop acting crazy.
Moral of the story: don’t let him play you. Don’t think you can outplay they player