• Falsely Optimistic Addict

    by  • March 17, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Betrayal • 0 Comments

    Sometimes I wish I had never opened up. I expressed every fear, every anxiety, every joy, every hope, and every disappointment with you. Until last year, I never opened up to one person in my life-thinking I’d just get hurt. And the one time I did, I did. I’m sitting here hurt more than anyone. I tried going out on Saturday to a bar to see a band play with your friend and I just could not keep it together, I could not have fun. Hearing that you went out with them a few weeks back and were normal completely hurts. How can you be normal after a horrible break up like that? I thought you loved me and cared about me, but after you texted my sibling explicit messages, how is that love? If I was the most stable love in your life, how could you do that to me? YOU ARE AN ADDICT, but please do not blame your actions on your addiction.
    You thought changing your look, your weight, would change your feelings? The love I gave you would never be enough and you searched for gratification elsewhere. you will always be the fat, miserable high school jackass. You ruined the one person who whole heartedly cared about you. Possibly, the only person who cared about you truly.
    We did not even fight, you just changed your mind. Then said you didnt love me anymore. I loved you with every fiber of my being-only to be given up on. How do you just not love someone anymore? Then telling me that maybe I should be more positive and look at life in a better light? Are you serious? I will probably have trust issues for the rest of my life, not to mention the onset of depression. After a year, you think you know someone but boy was I wrong. Don’t tell me to be positive and now that you struggled to watch me try and cope with life’s events. And you gave up on me when I needed you most-the future eviction from my own house, not getting into school, and having a sucky job, trying to make it post-grad. The audacity. I feel worthless so thank you for that. Thank you for breaking my trust and ruining relationships for me for probably the rest of my life.

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