If I could turn back time, I know exactly where I’d go. Back to right before you came up behind me and hugged me in the dorm kitchen. I would have turned around, looked you right in those beautiful eyes, and said thank you. Then cup my hand behind your head, lean down, and kiss you gently but lovingly. After we got done working we’d take a walk thru campus, holding hands and getting to know each other better. When we got back to the dorm we’d kiss passionately.
All the things that could have been but weren’t, just because I was a stupid guy with zero self confidence who could not bring himself to believe that anyone as beautiful as you could have been interested in the likes of me. If my failures hurt you, I’m terribly sorry. When I think of what might have been and knowing what a wonderful person you are, it makes me sad. Still, I love my children more than anything and I’m sure you love yours, our not getting together made these children possible. I cannot imagine life without them.
I still dream of you and think of you. One recurring dream is that I’m at work sitting in a meeting. You come to town for some reason and find your way to where I’m meeting and pop in. We hug. You ask me if I’d care for some gum and I say sure, you pull me to you and give me a deep French kiss, leaving your gum in my mouth as I do. I sit down, stunned, as you leave, me still chewing your gum. Later, we get together and talk about old times and do a little kissing, but agree that we need to stay with our current spouses.
It’s all my fault. You were the one I should have gone after. Again, if I hurt you back then, I’m sorry. Part of my heart is yours forever.