• *Mistakes and lessons

    by  • March 13, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 0 Comments

    Iv made so many mistakes in my lifetime.. Some I’m not so proud of and others I’m grateful 4 the lesson I learned..

    I never had a great childhood but I made the most of what I had.. I was lucky to have a dad who spoiled me as a kid with the newest toys, gadgets, clothes and gave me money always..So money was never a issue…but when the time comes n u realize u have now everything u want, it hits u that all the money in the world can never buy the Love and Attention u crave n want from ur parents…As u grow older u become wiser.. And when u look back, u than see that all the toys ur dad bought u was just a way 2 keep u busy n quiet..n so it goes on,..Until that time comes where u stop wanting their love n attention,u stop longing to have what other kids do.. U cut urself painfully off from that emotions n accept life the way it is, n do what makes U happy..!

    I don’t like telling people what iv been threw becoz I don’t want any1 2 pity me or feel sorry 4. I hide it away as far as a can becoz I’m ashamed of it. Today I am who I am becoz of all my failures,bad decision n horrible mistakes I made.. I wouldn’t change a thing. As hard as it was,it was worth learning..

    I know personally that the majority of the bad mistakes I made in my past years stemmed 2 my problem of being abandon n not loved at home… But I never uttered it not once,not even 2 my closest friends. I was on drugs heavy,I was in a gang,I fought a lot , I smoked weed, I was just thee guy..I had many girls n a nice car ect.. Did I love the attention @ 21years? Of coz! Who wouldn’t… I was “mr popular” n in club every wknd just partying n not worrying…
    But the truth behind that all wen I go sleep at night n lay awake, It all means nothing 2 me becoz I’m only doing that due 2 the lack of love n attention from my parents.. They just never cared..

    So After my “streak” was over n I stop all my shit,the hard part came… Facing n Accepting things 4 what it was..Damn it was difficult,I cried alone many times till I fall aslp..but the next day I would just carry on until it took me years 2get where I am today.. Iv become so strong n independent I 4get its ok not 2 b sometimes.. Iv built my self confidence 2 a point where no1 can break me down,not even my mother or father.. Iv gained the will power 2 not allow others 2 take advantage of me anymore..Emotionally iv cut off all my family who hurt me n never will I let them again…

    This is just a nutshell of how iv raised above the bad times in my life.iv used it as inspiration n motivation 2b successful and with the help of God it worked.I’m very grateful n thankful.. So before we think of judging others, think 2 urself u never know what they have been threw..

    The day I’m blessed with a wife and kid, I swear on my life I will b the best husband n dad I can be.. I will do everything I never got by my parents but with sooo much more Love added… And I won’t stop making the effort every single day 4 the rest of my life just 2 show how much my heart really cares..

    N.Carter

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