• I try so hard

    by  • March 13, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 2 Comments

    I’m a father to a borderline special needs child and husband to a misdiagnosed depressed wife. I’m the only solid income the house has. I’m enlisted as a traditional guardsman, with 17 years of service. I’m 3 years away from being eligible for retirement. We have a cat, a dog, and two ferrets.

    I’m the only one in the house that actively does dishes, folds and puts away laundry, cleans the kitty litter, cleans the ferret cage, takes care of and works with the dog, preps the weeks worth of meds for my wife and child.

    Every time I ask for help nicely I get ignored, or attitude. If I try to take a step back and let things fall apart, no one else picks up the slack. The house just gets worse and worse.

    Divorce isn’t an answer. I’ll have legal fees, alimony, and child support to contend with. I’m pretty sure that my wife would win custody (because of the state we live in). Both my wife and daughter need someone to look after them, if we divorce, then no one will take care of them.

    Suicide isn’t an answer as there will be no one to look after them.

    I’m stuck.
    I hate my life.
    I love my wife and kid, but can’t deal with the laziness.

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    2 Responses to I try so hard

    1. K
      March 14, 2015 at 1:12 am

      I very often feel this way and if it helps any try to remember that there are people all over the world caring for their familes like you do and centuries of women who have as well. Maybe next time I am feeling overwhelmed I’ll send a positive thought your way. Thank you for what you do.
      -exhausted K


    2. Hollowman
      March 14, 2015 at 6:18 pm

      Speak to someone, social services, citizens advice, counsellors, anyone, they may be able to offer you respite.
      This is draining on anyone, i know what you mean and feel.

      If you got just a free, you, day, a week it would help make the rest tolerable. Also, unless your wife is mentally unable to realise, she must be unhelpful because she intentionally wants to, suggest marriage counselling say perhaps that you feel there are issues that are affecting you and you need help. I hope someone reaches out and does help. All the best



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