• That Thing

    by  • March 12, 2015 • Heartbreak • 8 Comments

    We all have that person, or in some cases, those people whom we meet and something ignites inside of us. We are hit with the realization that this person has “that thing”. That FUCKING thing.

    What is it? What is that obnoxious thing about them that draws us to them like a magnet? Nothing you could conjure up to describe this thing would even come close to what you feel about them. Boom. All it takes is an instant and you’ve fallen. Fallen for that THING.

    I’m sure we’ve all been victim a time or two of this horrible affliction. I know I have.

    Twice, actually. Awful isn’t it? How someone can shake you to your core without your consent.

    What’s especially horrible is that often these people who have these “things” about them, don’t feel the same about us.

    The ones we want the most don’t want us back. The worst feeling in the world.

    Absolute worst.

    Why? Because no one ever measures up. Anyone you encounter after you’ll only compare to the one who had that thing. Anyone you encounter after will force you to see that they’re indeed lacking of that very thing.

    No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you tell yourself they’ve got it, you’ll always know deep down that it isn’t true.

    And so here you are…. wondering why you even met this person whom you cannot shake for anything.

    Like I said, it’s happened to me twice. To be fair though, the first one was the doozy. After him I never thought i’d see anyone with that thing again.

    Until I met the second. It was out of nowhere, like they always are.

    Sneaky, aren’t they?


    So this is to all of you out there struggling like I am over someone who just didn’t return your feelings. I’m with you, right there in the same boat. I know you know what i’m talking about …
    they’ve just got that thing that you can’t put your finger on and it kills you. Because who knows if you’ll find another. It’s 100% out of your control, too. It’s as if your soul lit up the moment you saw them.

    That fucking THING..

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    8 Responses to That Thing

    1. Thing one and Thing two
      March 12, 2015 at 11:28 pm

      I know that thing, it called ‘IT’, they’ve just got ‘IT’. They move to the beat of a different drum, they are the ones that you will never see standing still. You can’t pin them down. You will never work them out so don’t even try. You may not ever be their number one, but will feel special if they have ever given you even a little of their time, which never feels like enough…they will always leave you wanting more. That there is the art they have perfected….

      But regardless of what that thing is that makes them, them, always remember:

      Today you are You,
      That is truer than true,
      There is no one alive
      Who is youer than You.
      -Dr Seuss.


    2. Hollowman
      March 13, 2015 at 8:49 am

      YES! And even worse is not just having it once or twice, but for the last time. I have felt it before, yea you feel so bad, but after a few years i moved past it, eventually the memory faded the feelings did, then BOOM! At the wrong time, i found the one and only, they had the thing? Heck they had every thing, they were and are perfect, at least so i think.
      And yep, rejected hard and heavy. And there is not just the comparison, but the aching fire burning daily when i wake up and think of them, all through the day, and last thing at night.
      Don’t we just wish we could switch that off?
      And what is it? Be logical are they perfect? No, are they the best looking, kindest, smartest person? No, but they are because of, er, well, the thing!
      I wish we had a remedy that could undo it, let us out, but that never happens does it.
      Me, i am doomed to a life of miserable sorrow having lost a person from my life that i would die for, and more.
      And indeed your sould does light up, if i could do something to make them happy i would because selfish though it is, i felt happy just listening to them, i felt delirious making them smile, and ecstatic to see them laugh or be joyful because of me, or because of anything, so it is like a rug, making them happy made me feel like a million dollars.


    3. @Hollowman
      March 14, 2015 at 2:47 pm

      May I ask why you’ve been rejected? Have a clue? They say they don’t feel it? I’m just curious.


    4. Hollowman
      March 14, 2015 at 6:28 pm

      I guess a combo of things, some of which i can’t say even here. But one at least was i am very sure, looks. I don’t blame her, i have no doubt if i was to look handsome in the way she sees handsomeness, i may have aroused some interest. The other things would be very minor, and in a different situation irrelevant so could be gotten around.
      Another aspect may be that we never really had spoken of feelings before and when i told her, i told her just how much she meant. That maybe overwhelmed/scared her. She never told me why, just a clear no, and that it would always be a no.
      Since then i have not spoken to her and couldn’t now if i wanted to.
      It is not something i hold against them though, if you have no sexual attraction, it just doesn’t work.
      That may differ for a blind person or others, but for most of us, we are slaves to our immediate desires and other feelings sprout from there. Of course over time a person could become more attractive, but ultimately, if you do not have that wow factor to someone, they won’t want you.
      But what can you do? I’d change my looks and everything if it would make a difference, but it won’t now and i suppose i have to accept it si what it is and be sad for the loss of a what if.
      But that is what we face for lack of that “thing” when the object of our affection has it to us, and we do not.


    5. @Hollowman
      March 15, 2015 at 1:33 pm

      Looks. In my opinion, when you truly love someone, they become the most beautiful person to you. You may have your preferences, but when you meet the right person and they look different it doesn’t matter at all. At least in my experience. I’m sorry to hear that you think you should look different. Are they really that superficial? If so, you should probably be glad that you don’t look the way you think you should.

      I totally agree with what you say about the attraction. You can’t force what isn’t there, but if it is there and you can’t do anything about it, it is also extremely hard to get rid of it.


    6. Hollowman
      March 16, 2015 at 3:48 am

      I don’t think they are shallow, just that i am not enough to make them attracted. Maybe if i had not told them how i felt, i know the longer you know a person the more an attraction can grow, but it was fear, they had spoken of other people, of moving away, i felt like if i never said it there may never come a time.
      In reality if i had said nothing they would be in my life still and the future would still present possibilities.
      But what is done is done.
      Time heals and though the scars are never going to fade because for me, this was the other half of my soul, the one person who could with a smile, make everything seem wonderful, at least time helps to fade the hurt and sorrow a bit.
      And maybe there is not just a “one” maybe,just maybe there are two or three possibles and one day i will find that feeling with someone who feels exactly the same.


    7. @Hollowman
      March 16, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      Maybe the ‘what if’ you have now is better than the ‘what if’ you would have, if you hadn’t said anything. Now they know and you can’t blame yourself that you didn’t do anything. You did what you could. The future will show what it was worth.


    8. hollowman
      March 16, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Thank you. I hope so. Appreciate your views and thoughts



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