I miss you. I’m sorry for everything. I wish we could go back to our first kiss and re live that moment forever. I don’t know how I can fix us. All I want right now is you. I just want to hold you in my arms until this pain goes away. I want to tell you how much I love and care about you. I want you to scratch my head and tell me to stop crying and that everything is going to be ok. I want you to kiss my forehead to calm me down. I want to hold your hand in mine and just let time pass us by while we lay on your trampoline forever. And when this pain finally passes I want to look up into your perfect eyes and get lost in your beauty. I want to see you smile while you wipe the last tear off my cheek and hold me closer. Then I want you to lay your head on my chest and fall asleep while I watch you. And while you fall asleep I lay there staring at the most beautiful girl and think to myself how I got so lucky. Then once you fall asleep I’ll fall asleep too. And then after hours have passed us by I’ll wake up a couple of minutes before you so I can watch you wake up. And while your wiping your eyes trying to fully awaken I’ll kiss you in the forehead and give you the world’s best hug. Then we will lay there in the same position and stare at the stars and clouds that pass by. We will tell each other jokes and when we run out of jokes we will start to open up to each other. I’ll tell you everything about my past and you’ll do the same. And when we finally know everything about each other, I’d finally lean in so I can taste your lips again. But just before we kissed I would stop. You would ask me what’s wrong. And for a few seconds I wouldn’t say anything. Then I would smile. This wouldn’t be just any smile. It would be the biggest most sincere smile I could make. Then I would chuckle and and whisper into your ear how happy I am with you and how I never want to leave your side. And in that moment time would stop. The world would stop spinning. The only thing that would be moving would us. But even we are frozen in place. But not because time stopped but because we are soaking in the moment. The smell of the air and of each other, the gentle breeze of the wind, the look on both of our faces of total happiness. And after we finally kiss I would fall even harder for you. I would look back into to your eyes and stare into them for all eternity. Trapped by your hypnotic gaze. And to bring me back to reality you would pull my head to your chest so I could hear your heartbeat while you scratch my head again. And I would fall back to sleep. Not because I wanted to but because in that moment I am too happy to do anything else. And shortly after I wake up I begin to cry again. But this time it’s not tears of pain. These are tears of true happiness. The ones you cry when you’ve know you’ve found someone you didn’t deserve but for some reason she gave herself to you and no one else. I was finally about to show you how I’m different from everyone else. How I opened your heart up to trust but this time your trusting the right person. And when I finally look up at you I see that you are crying those same tears of happiness and joy. There’s is nothing that I want more in the world then for this to come true. It’s what I wish for every morning and night at 11:11. Every eyelash that I use to make a wish goes towards this idea. But everyday that passes by I know it’s nothing more then a fantasy that is never going to come true. So everyday that passes by I lay awake all night thinking about you. But you don’t know that. Your too busy sleeping while I’m laying in bed at 5 in the morning crying over you. I wish I could be the one you want. I wish I could give you everything you need and deserve. I wish i could be with you. But that will never happen. But as long as you are happy that’s all that matters. And I know I’m not the guy who makes you happy but as long as you have a smile on your face that’s all that matters. So until I can be around you without showing you that I still care I will have to be an asshole towards you. Not because I want to but because I need to. I hope you can understand. I will always care about you. No matter what I say or do to try and convince you otherwise I care. I will always have a spot in my heart reserved for you. Goodnight princess. Sleep tight and sweet dreams.