i know you asked me not to come onto this site or read anything you had written. But i am sitting here, thinking about you.. whether everything went well, whether you are ok, will you let me know that youre fine. ive messaged and no reply.. and reading these letters is contentment for me, for now.
I know things arent the same, but i will always love you the same. i will always care the same and worry the same and scream at you the same (when you dont listen). THAT will never go away.
you were my first loves love. we go through life looking for the perfect mate, partner and companion and when you think youve found that person you put your heart and soul into it. but the day taht is broken, it is difficult to regain, but nothing changes..
you constantly tell me ive changed and how can i just let my feelings disappear.. it has not disappeared.. its all still there, but i cannot allow my heart to be that vulnerable again and give it another chance to be broken. im too fragile for that.
so although we may not be together or be a couple, i dont love you less. and becos of the love i have for you, i let you go.. to be happy, to find happiness to be free.
as the saying goes, when you love something, set it free, only then if it returns was it meant to be.. and thats exactly what i am doing..
so yes, ive read all your letters 🙂 and smiled at every kind word, at every emotion expressed, becos i could hear your voice when reading it. But for now.. i want you to get better, recover well and be who you always are.
nothing has veer kept you from being you… so do not let this stop you now.
youre a fighter and you will remain a fighter..
when in pain, close your eyes, say a prayer and think happy thoughts.. slowly that pain will subside and day by day it will get better, and when taht happens, inches of a smile will grow each day until the joker and jovial personality arises again..
forever and a day xx