• Just putting it out there

    by  • March 10, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Inspiration • 7 Comments

    I have written here in the past about a woman I looked up after a very long time, while I was having a real dark period in my life. I got a lot of thoughtful feedback and some genuinely deep responses, “Cindy”, that made me realize romance and depth in people has not perished from this beautiful existence we call life. It is time to pay it forward and share something more than pain or anger or self-doubt with all of you who visit here, for we are connected.

    I would love to be able to sit face to face with all who doubt life’s joy due to personal pain, unanswered pleas for love, forgiveness, passion, tender touch, or just plain understanding of who they are. This, unfortunately, can’t be done but we can still find ourselves together here to share each others thoughts,dreams,fears,and passions.

    I am extremely passionate about wanting to share me with you because it did carry me through a crap storm of my making and opened my eyes to what matters,to me at least. Each pair of eyes that read this look out from a novel of their scripting,we truly are the authors of our story and,though influenced by outside forces,still put pencil to paper each morning.

    I am a 55 year old guy, married, with children and grand kids, work outdoors, make a decent living honestly, and live within my means. I am conservatively leaning but will help anyone I can and I love our vets, being a peacetime vet myself I can’t think of anyone higher in my eyes than a vet. These are true hero’s.

    I absolutely am a horn-dog and I love the fairer sex and see the beauty in almost all women. Fake = ugly to me and real women are almost always beautiful to behold, sloppy or wasted beyond hope…not so much. I am a die hard flirt and feel it is a compliment and have no bashfulness letting a lady know she still has it. Now this is not to say I am abusive about it,that is wrong on any level but a stolen glance captured lets a woman know her beauty is shining through. Age, except young, (under 30), has no impact on the equation and age brings a knowledge and confidence that is a shining star.

    Now that I’ve dispensed with some of who, I will move to the why.

    First, I am not a devout anything. Do I believe? Without reservation. Do I speak and pray? Yes I do. Would I tell anyone else to do these things? If I thought for second that it would bring comfort beyond my ability,yes yes yes.
    My belief and source of happiness or wonder or contentment or whatever you want to label it as,is what I lay my eyes on each and every day.This incredible world around us,although ravaged by hate,prejudice,religious zealotry,and a host of other maladies,is still picture of stunning beauty and incredible love and promise.We,all humans,are an amazing breed of life.Those with so much to be bitter about are beacons of light,with so much weight to carry they float through our lives each day.Look for these and the ugly ones will soon fade.Be one of them and the ugliness will perish.
    Look no further than the greening trees of spring to feel renewal possibilities,starting that fresh new chapter of your novel.
    Even on the grayest day of a bleak winter you can see natures strength in the skies and know you were born of the same seeds of power.Do I profess this will change all the hate into something positive?Of course not, but we all must start somewhere and we all must have some impact, no matter how small it may seem.
    As I started,I would love to be able to speak with anyone who has or would like to have this section of their heart pump yet again and in all fairness to my horn dog side in a big tub with the fairer side but this is not to be. With that said I only wish a feeling of wonder to return to our stressed days, a feeling of passion to our lonely hearts and a sense of discovery to our everyday. I do love you all,some more than others (just keeping it in perspective) and hope in some way to have brightened a path.

    Jason

    7 Responses to Just putting it out there

    1. hi
      March 10, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      I remember:) Still here too…:(

    2. "What/Cindy"
      March 10, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      I suppose I should take that as a compliment… Glad to be to be of some assistance, if i was. This is a great letter Jason.

    3. m
      March 11, 2015 at 7:57 am

      thank you <3

    4. jason
      March 11, 2015 at 11:24 am

      To each of you and especially to you “Cindy”, you are amazing souls that warm every part of me with your care. I am who I am, can’t apologize because I would never inflict pain knowingly on anyone who has touched me. I sometimes get enthralled with being enthralled and I would not change that. My thoughts are of passion and the dying feeling of romance and tenderness, again something I would not change. So climb aboard the dream and be treated as a queen would be.

    5. Cindy
      March 11, 2015 at 3:48 pm

      So glad to see you again.?

    6. "Cindy"
      March 11, 2015 at 6:09 pm

      Thank you, Jason. That’s very sweet of you. 🙂

    7. Jason
      March 13, 2015 at 5:54 am

      Are we so different? Am I on an island with the thoughts and feelings I have? I truly don’t know if my inner most thoughts are shared by some, most, almost nobody, or am I an anomaly birthed to the wrong time or circumstances? Do men and women or black and white or this nationality or that one really see the world through different eyes? Is a sunset or a warm breeze not seen as a gift no matter what or where you are? I am readily and easily seduced by my world and sometimes (most of the time) am puzzled by those who resist. It is entirely too easy to see the beauty that lives and breathes all around us and yet it is blinded by the unimportant envies and jealousies that we manufacture. The vanity that renders the wealthy and entitled to look downwards or the sense of injustice that paralyzes the less fortunate to feel slighted or owed. The grip of these ills is so strong and deeply rooted that daily living is impossible, caged like a hamster, the wheel always spinning emitting the same squeak day after day. No, I have never been homeless or had to sell myself for a fix or lived day to day waiting for a check in the mail. No, I won’t apologize for having worked as hard as I had to create the small patch of life that I have. I work in a dangerous job and have been doing it for over 30 years. I rose from grunt to supervision with hard work and no family ties, I will not say I’m sorry. 80 hour weeks paid for this and my hand was never outstretched, I love this world but I refuse to believe I am part of a systemic problem. We are all prejudice or fearful to some degree or another. Whether this was inherited or influenced by outside noise or developed by time spent looking through the broken windows of a tough existence, it all ends as a non-healing wound festering distrust and separation. For my small part in this ridiculously large universe, I choose to say something funny, bring a laugh or smile, endear myself to someone else, show a positive side in a negative environment. It is not always easy and not always successful but onward through the fog. Amazingly enough I haven’t gone the funny trail in here…..yet. I may. To close…. For the ladies that read this, you are absolutely beautiful and are the object of someones fantasy and adoration. Don’t be freaked, you are someones sunrise or warm breeze, embrace it and love yourself for it. Do not let a magazine cover or commercial define being a woman, some actually know what true beauty is when they see it. To any man who chance upon this, never admitting it of course, pay attention to your wife and family, open a door for her, see your life as it is meant, a gift of a limited duration. Don’t sell your soul for a buck, it costs more on the backside.
      Be a man for Gods sake. For all…..Life is what you make it (stolen from Talk Talk). Each morning is new and full of promise and rebirth. I wish and hope for great things to happen in our world but they cannot walk until we have crawled. Smile and flirt, it is wondrous for all parties and brings no harm. Make someone fell handsome or beautiful today. Have a fantasy and let your eyes tell a story. Fall in love with falling in love.

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