• To the man who raped me

    by  • March 9, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Abuse • 2 Comments

    To the man who raped me,

    It has been almost exactly a year and a half from the night that you took my innocence and stripped me of the rose-tinted glasses through which I had previously viewed the world. It is almost amazing to me how such little time has passed, and yet how so much time has passed. So much has changed in so little time, and yet there are details burned in my memory that I don’t think any amount of time could remove. I don’t have much to say to you other than these two things:

    A.) I hope someday you realize what you did to me. You may have been punished severely due to my choosing to report your actions, but in the desperate lies in your testimony, as well as the testimony of those you convinced to lie for you, demonstrated that you don’t recognize your actions as being wrong, oh so very very wrong, and inhuman, and cruel, and cold, callous, agonizingly torturous, and destructive. You don’t see it. But someday I hope you do. And someday I hope it hurts your heart to realize that the body you have to dwell in for all of your life enacted such cruelty on another human being. I hope you are nearly swallowed up with guilt. I doubt you will be, but a girl can dream.

    B.) I hope someday you realize that you are forgiven. Yes. I forgive you. But ultimately my forgiving you is insignificant and ultimately for my benefit, not yours. No, but there is one man who can forgive you whose forgiveness in your heart would make a difference you could not imagine. You can be forgiven, and really, need to be forgiven by a tender man who loves you and gave his life for you, to save you from the darkness in your heart. I hope you find redemption in The Savior, Jesus Christ, who died for the both of us, so we don’t have to pay the price he already did for our darkness. I forgive you for what you did to me, because Jesus forgives me continually. I pray for you, and I hope the Lord answers my prayer, because if not, you harmed his daughter in a terrible terrible way, and there will be a reckoning for you in an even more terrible way unless you allow Jesus to take that evil upon him in your stead.

    Really at this moment, I am almost at a point where I can say that I stand healed from what happened. Changed? Yes. But broken? Not a chance. So yeah that’s really all I got for you.

    the person who forgives you

    2 Responses to To the man who raped me

    1. Me to you
      March 10, 2015 at 2:57 am

      Survivor to survivor, thank you for writing this. I’ve tried hundreds of times and get too upset.

    2. Jason
      March 11, 2015 at 7:23 am

      Dear Survivor and Beacon of Light,

      As a man I abhor the thought of what you endured and would gladly introduce this animal to his maker for his judgement. As a man I believe we are tasked with the preservation of decency and compassion for all our fellow travelers but some miss that ride and never evolved. I am ashamed of my gender when confronted with its ugliest of sides and know he will pay dearly for his depravity. My heart is wide open to you and your strength is incredible. As this piece of human refuse will fall you shall rise. I can tell you have already struck a path of denying to be dragged to this miscreants level and I am truly astonished by your inner strength. The term weaker gender does not apply. We may walk by each other never knowing and that would be my loss. Stay strong and know you are an amazing soul.

    Leave a Reply