• fade out

    by  • March 9, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    I asked you once again, to leave me alone if you were staying with her. You stayed away for two and a half months. Good effort. You came back with the same old questions expecting different answers. Meanwhile, now you are marrying her, so why come back at all? Why not just stay away? Since you have chosen that life, commit to it. I’m never going to be able to be friends with you. I told you already that you couldn’t have both. I meant that. You have always lied to me about everything. You say you care about me and that I hold a spot in your heart. You hold a place in my heart as well, but one that I have to bury, simply because it is too painful to make it worth it. It’s so difficult to bury those feelings and all those words that have accumulated over so many years. All the things that you have said to me in the past are now lies to me. My head is spinning.

    2 Responses to fade out

    1. been there
      March 9, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      I have been exactly where you are. He doesn’t care. If he did, he would have left you alone. And if he cared about her, he wouldn’t have been talking to you in the first place. The best thing you can do is look at this guy without the emotion; the actions he did. I knew someone like this off and on for over a decade. We were together once as well. The friend thing never works. He just wants validation. He is a user.

    2. done that
      March 9, 2015 at 10:31 pm

      In case you can’t resist because he’s gonna pull out all the stops and promise everything…..

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201406/how-spot-manipulator
      ….

      “…. Minimizing the relationship’s escalating to the long-term level.
      Keeping the relationship sexual rather than emotional.

      To keep the relationship short-term, participants acted in ways to avoid contact, intimacy, and integration with the rest of their lives (i.e. keeping the partner from meeting family and friends). They also occasionally behaved in abusive ways toward the partner, either physical or verbal. To keep the relationship sexual rather than emotional in nature, those who used short-term mating strategies relied on alcohol as an excuse, let their partner know the relationship was strictly sexual, and behaved in ways that let the partner know they had, and would continue to have, interest in other sexual partners……”

      He’ll probably tell you that his new wife is a shrew and never wants to have sex with him, meanwhile…
      she’s gonna giving it her all because she’s going to be told you’re just some friend who’s got an obsessive crush on him or something. If he’s a total jerk and it sounds like he is, he’s probably going to keep you as far away from his friends… his friends have girlfriends who will tell his wife that he’s cheating.
      He’s a user. Having just escaped my own user, I realized that love is just one emotion and my love for him was actually depriving my life of every other positive emotion. All i was left with were the negative ones, try creating a beautiful picture for your future only using the darkest colors.
      Ask a child to draw you a picture, they draw a yellow sun, bright blue clouds, green grass…. beautiful rainbows are all the bright and vivid colors. So what if for the moment you’ve lost your “red” (love) crayon for a bit. There’s still so many other wonderful emotions to feel, don’t give in to one when it’s wrong. Good luck.

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