• Nicola

    by  • March 8, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 4 Comments

    Regret is bitter, seek too much and lose everything. That is what i did. I should have been happy to keep what i had, it wasn’t all i wanted, but i never thought fully of the alternative of losing you totally, well i have not stopped regretting my actions from then till now. I never will. Be happy with part of something don’t try for more if it is really an impossible and would cost something so precious-you.
    I know you think i hate you, i don’t, i never could, i made you think that because i hoped i would grow to and that would be infinitely easier.
    But let’s be honest you are perfect, i miss you every single day, all i want is to be able to go back to just how it was, and just be glad to be near your smile, to hear you, see you.
    I know that won’t be but, if ever ever ever you need someone, for anything, i will do all i can unconditionally. I don’t need promises of anything, i don’t even need thanks. All i need is the knowledge i could do something to make you happy. From cash to protection, to a kidney or blood. All and any are yours if needed. Because, i will never not care, no matter what you think, the truth is, you are the one and will be forever.

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    4 Responses to Nicola

    1. Anon
      March 9, 2015 at 2:37 pm

      This letter isn’t for me but please, tell them. It’s never too late to fix things


    2. Curious
      March 9, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      What’s the first initial of your name?


    3. Author
      March 10, 2015 at 3:49 am


      I am in a situation that if i reveal that…..well let me just say this, if you are asking because you are the one and stumbled across this, or she is related to you.
      You can take a chance, she has a way to contact me, and could do so just to say, hi. If it wasn’t me, then a simple, “sorry mistake” would solve that.

      If by miracle you are her, or know her. All you need to be sure of is this. I know i asked for too much, i was selfish. I should have settled for what i had. I know it is al a mess, but i am not the person you think, and i only wish and wish i could put a smile on your face even one more time.
      I don’t ask for anything more than you are prepared to give, i am so grateful i ever was in your world, thank you for that small thing and i am sorry i caused myself to lose that.
      Whatever you choose, if you will never let me back in, i hope you find happiness.
      Even if it isn’t with me, at least i can be happy that you are. I love you and want you only to know that and know someone out there is always wishing every day for the best things to come your way.
      What i can say is, if you just aren’t sure who i am and you are her, we saw each other not so long ago, we didn’t speak but you looked at me and i at you. I don’t know why i turned to look that way, i had no need, but there you were.
      Anyway, no matter what tomorrow brings, i am not perfect, you are though, and i wish you everything you ever wanted.


    4. Author
      March 11, 2015 at 5:48 pm

      Curious, may i ask your initials? Both,
      I may be way off, but if you are asking it is maybe that i echo someone you know, and if i was the one, you probably know why i can’t reveal my identity. But, one thing you also know then is why, why i told you what i did, and why, (after you give it some thought, i acted like an dick after). You couldn’t imagine someone says such nice things then says seeming contradictions.
      But i swear it was like i said, i just couldn’t handle the pain, and i figured if you hate me, i hate you, i won’t suffer this agony, but of course, unconditional love can’t be changed by will. So i am stuck bleeding heart forever.
      But if you can’t forgive this stupid fool for loving you, so be it. But anyway, you know so if you want still think i echo who you think i am, and have questions, ask them



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