Dear man that still has my heart,
It’s been years since I’ve seen you, but not a day passes by that I dont think about you. We talk off and on. About videogames, movies, music, food, our lives. Is it bad that every time I see that you text me I can’t help but smile and want to cry at the same time? I constantly fight the urge to call you. To pour out my heart to you. That I still love you. I’ve written long elaborate messages and then deleted them. Replying with a simple “hey” because I’m afraid that anything I would have said could have led to you not being in my life anymore.
I find myself wishing that I was the girl that was always on your mind. Is It wrong of me to wish that the guy holding me was you? The guy I live with, cook and clean for, was you? I wish that I could kiss you and melt in your arms, just like I always did. I wish that I wasn’t so afraid of being hurt when I had you and that I wasn’t so terified of someone having my heart that I ran away, beacuse I’d drop everything in an instant and run back to you, if only you would have me.
Leaving you was an instant regret, and possibly the hardest and most idiotic thing I have ever done. You’re an amazing guy, and you always have been. You didn’t deserve what I did to you. I truely am sorry for that and I know I can’t take anything I’ve done back, but I sure would if I could.
I fell in love with you the day that I met you, and I’ve loved you ever since….