My Dear Angel,
I often reminisce about the past, our past.
You’re the only one I’ve ever been in love with.
My first love, like most, unrequited.
It lasted so long, almost too long, I think.
I had guys hit on me, but I always put them off because i thought that maybe you would wait for me, until we were old enough, until I was ready.
I hadn’t realized that you had moved on long ago.
One day, after months of trying, I finally moved on myself.
You’re still an amazing person and I don’t have anything to hold against you, so I’m happy we could find a way to be friends.
Even through my bitterness and half hidden jealousy, you found a way to accept me as a friend.
But I find that sometimes our gestures go a little too far.
I love you, though I’m no longer in love with you.
My heart doesn’t beat quicker when you’re near, but my brain seems hardwired to think a certain way when I see you.
You might not be my soulmate, but I could live next to you for the rest of my life, and be happy.
And I’m worried people will see that.
I’m worried they’ll figure out that some part of me will always love you and want you.
You’re that stain on my heart that will never fade completely.
I’ll admit it, a part of me wants revenge.
A part of me thinks that I might be happy if I could get you to hopelessly fall for me, the way I fell for you.
But in the process of trying to make you love me, I’m finding to much comfort at your side.
Am I falling for you again?
I don’t want to.
I love you, but I’m not in love with you, and I don’t want to be.
No matter how great you are.
A peck on the lips wouldn’t hurt, if anything it would give me closer.
But what if it does hurt? What if we fall and we can’t get back up?
We were never meant to stay down together.
I want you to know how much I love you, how much you mean to me.
How can I do that without keeping it from turning the wrong way?
I guess I’ll just have to wait, hope, and see.
But please, don’t leave my side, don’t leave me.
I want to see you waiting at the end of that aisle, smiling.
I’ll cheer you on from the crowd,
That’s how much you mean to me.