I can’t help it. The pain of not having you with me. Every day goes by and all I see in my head is you. The memories of the days we would hang out, spend the whole days making music, just being with each other. I am so deeply sorry if I hurt you in my recoil of not feeling the deep love I had returned. I accept reality now but nothing I do stops me missing you. The void you left after all those beautiful warm smiles festered inside me my heart would not stop bleeding. Numb. Now I am numb. Sometimes I lay down on my bed and feel like my life is over. Sometimes the tears still come. What kind of man am I? I don’t know anymore. I let myself go. L . . . girl… I miss you so much. My music career… all the music I make… you are the inspiration and drive. I love you.