Outside, smoking a cigarette. I was too, maybe ten feet to your right. I was talking to a girl. One I had no interest in, and I think that was later proven. I wasn’t really paying attention to her, but to you, as best I could, out the side of my vision. Even though you had just savagely ripped into me, there was something sweet and vulnerable about the way you were sitting there by yourself. I noticed you looking at me a lot. I still wonder what you were thinking. I wish I had understood that as the call to arms it was probably intended as. Instead I thought to make you jealous. I was angry. Mostly hurt at what you said to me. I dont remember seeing you again after that, though I stayed a little longer. I wish I had tried again to talk to you, one more time at least. Maybe you were ready. Maybe I just had to fight a little more. I thought to save what fight I had left for another day, but that was my last chance and I blew it. God, I miss you so bad.
It would be different this time. I swear it. Maybe it wouldnt be a second chance, but like a 15th chance or something, whos counting. But it really would be different. Im different. In a good way I think. Ive learned so much from you, just replaying our time together in my mind. Ive always thought of you as my greatest teacher, just about love, but I learned about you too. I think I know what you want and I can give that to you. I can be the man you want me to be. Because I want that too. You bring it out in me, the best I have to offer, and I want to give it all to you. Im ready to fight again, for now until youll have me no more. Just please come back. Let me back in. All this time has only made me love you more baby.