I am sorry I couldn’t fix it or make it better, I only made it worse by calling you out to your family and the world of all of the things that bothered me from your past, and I did it in crazed anger and sadness from the way I felt you treated me….it would have been easier had I just let you go, at least then there would have been a chance. Instead I was impulsive and hurt you back… This was my greatest mistake. I killed the chance of ‘ever’
I am agonizingly in heartbroken pain, and just faking it to the world right now that I am ‘ok’. You were the love of my life, and I miss how your eyes sparkled….and am remorseful as to how it hurt you, you were broken before me…and I just made the cracks worse. It was wrong what I did.
I try to recall the best times, and they were amazing and just bad too…and also just rip me apart all at the same time. Was this ever real? The wave just crashed into an epic oblivion and got really messy. Left confused now, I just wonder did the love I felt really exist, were you real? You don’t look or act like the woman I loved now?
The past year, I tried so hard to keep you…and it was disaster after disaster. I want to lift you up and hold you, tell you I love you and take away the pain. Tell you I am sorry for hurting you and putting you on blast. I want you to tell me you love me again, look at me adoringly and tell me it will be alright. I thought you were my soul mate….and I cant fix you.
Tearfully broken with thoughts of you and just hoping this pain goes away, you were my greatest love, the most confusing person ever…and I am heartbroken and missing you. Praying that a miracle brings you to me and it one day works out… hoping you and I both are fixed in the next life, and we meet again happier.