• what am i?

    by  • February 17, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Resentment • 2 Comments

    I am crying. And I am disgusting and I am so alone that if anyone knows a real thing about me I would be attacked again. I have no one to depend on. People who claim to be my friend aren’t really useful. They don’t make me laugh. I’ve never missed anyone in my life. I am an emotionless human. All I feel is pain at moments then nothing. I’ve never loved anyone. I’ve never felt a connection. Not even my mother nor my father. No one. I swear to you that there have been moments I have subconsciously Hurt myself and even when I noticed the wound I would not feel the pain enough to cringe. I am nothing I want to be thrown away. I want to have problems with me so people will turn my way. So they I could have one thing that I would be known for. I wish I had d.i.d so that I had an excuse for my shittyness. I wish I had something. Anything. …..

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    2 Responses to what am i?

    1. Ang
      February 18, 2015 at 7:19 pm

      Who are you?
      You are a person who thinks and feels that you are not noticed, that no matter how loud you scream no one will hear you. You think you are a shitty person, and that no cares. You think you don’t feel pain, or that you are emotionless.

      Who are you!?
      You are a person, who has yet to notice that you matter to someone, and that someone probably just doesn’t know how to come to you. You are someone who is “someone’s person”. YOU ARE SOMEONE IMPORTANT.

      Who you are not!!
      You are not an excuse, you are not meaningless, you are not someone who hurts themselves or other, you are someone going through a tough time.

      Take a moment and count your blessings.
      Take a moment and thank the shitty people in your life (they too need to be recognized, because without them we wouldn’t know our worth – if they weren’t shitty we would have a hard time knowing that we deserve better)
      Take a moment and remember the times you were sick, so sick you begged for death to take you out of your misery, and now look at that and see how you have come up from that terrifying painful moment.

      You are someone important, you’re just caught up in a moment where you chose to ignore that.
      Cry in the shower, no one will question it, cause they will think it was soap you got in your eyes, and then dress accordingly to the weather and find a quiet place to reflect, where you are and where you WILL be in the near future… and go get it.

      I don’t know you… but I have been in places similar to what you are feeling. And it’s a lonely and scary place…don’t stay there too long, just long enough for you to understand and realize that you don’t belong there.
      Best of luck to you!! Stay strong, and smile, there actually is someone out there who cares about you.


    2. question
      February 20, 2015 at 11:54 am

      How can you cry without emotion?



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