• So Fucking Pathetic

    by  • February 13, 2015 • Hatred • 1 Comment

    I hate my life. I hate my shitty apartment. I hate not having a car, freezing my fucking ass off waiting to cram onto the bus with all the other fucking “poor people”. I hate that my parents think it’s ok they never got me a car, when 99% of the people I know got one from their parents at some point, and we had so much more money than most of them. I hate that I still have to go to school, pretending like I give a fuck when I know I’m smarter and more capable than any of my classmates and most of my fucking teachers. I hate being forced into feigned fucking deference to people, basically just because they’re older than me. I hate those of my ‘friends’ who are only interested in spending time with me when were drinking so I can fucking entertain them. I hate being told what to do. I hate any suggestion that something is “mandatory” for me. I hate the fucking word “mandatory”.

    But most of all, and this has spanned my entire fucking life, I FUCKING HATE women. Pretty much all of them. I’ll carve out a narrow exception for those that I am related to, because I feel obligated to do so, but even they piss me off more than I feel is normal. All my fucking life women have used me, lied to me, manipulated me, ignored and neglected me, played with my emotions, and eventually left me like i never meant anything. wHy? FUCKING WHY? Outwardly, I’m what people would call a ‘nice guy’, you know one of those guys who finishes last. So fucking true. Who would have known that women would be biologically programmed to be repulsed by men being respectful, men being kind, men being REAL men. You bitches are all so fucking stupid. Watching you in action reminds me of some shit off the discovery channel: “When the female Amazon Kingfisher observes the male Amazon Kingfisher flapping his wings faster than the other male Amazon Kingfishers, she decides to mate with him. He will immediately leave to continue mating and she will build a nest for her coming chicks.” When you find out your man is cheating on you, when he leaves you, when he beats you into a fucking pulp, you know what? YOU DO FUCKING DESERVE IT. Because you were so fucking stupid or weak or you’re just a fucking whore and you chose that guy in the first place. Fuck all of you silly bitches. I can’t wait til you get older and aren’t as desirable, and cant get whatever you want anymore. Wow that will be a fucking wake up call, won’t it? Hope your husband hasn’t left you by then (or because of that).

    You were supposed to be different. You were supposed to be the smart one that elevated yourself above all that bullshit. You were supposed to be the one I could finally trust The one who wouldn’t just leave me. And in the end, you’re the worst out of all them. I’m so JADED now, if I wasn’t enough already. Did it make you feel good, or strong, or in any way better about yourself to destroy me? To take away fucking everything that I cared about. Did you enjoy that? I wasn’t necessarily a happy person when I met you, but I was happier. I didn’t have a ton of friends, but I did have more. I still drank a lot, but for different reasons. Good reasons. I really can’t say that any part of my life has improved since meeting you other than my career. Ill be honest, initially, thinking of you and wanting to be able to provide for you and buy you nice things, that motivate me alot and brought me some success. I am grateful for those opportunities. But I do also blame you for losing them, at least partially, because I was so miserably lonely loving you but not being with you. I recovered before it was too late, but my fucking trajectory would be alot higher if you would have just jumped on board then. I think you dont understand that basically 99% of a man’s confidence comes from his success with women. Well, Ive done alot with the 1% that was accessible to me. Of course not enough for you. If I somehow wasnt good enough for you, if you didnt love me enough to want to be with me, why did you string me along for so long, why did you keep me coming back? I really believe it was a power thing for you, you sick bitch. You enjoyed controlling my life, watching me crumble in your grasp. You really let me believe you loved me, for so long, off of what? A few social media posts? And I was so good to you. I mean I tried to be. I tried to be patient, I tried to just let you lash out at me without retaliating. I let you utterly humiliate me time and time again and just kept loving you the same. I still fucking love you. To this very day this very fucking moment. Thats gotta be the most fucked up part I just cant stop. when things were good with you Ive never been happier in my life. Literally sobbing because I was so happy. I guess Im just basically one of those same old silly bitches, I just dont have the sexual leverage. Dont even get me started on that. How am I supposed to act like a man when I certainly dont feel like one. You fucking neutered me. I have been so loyal to you, for what? When I met you, I immediately stopped seeing the person I was ‘dating’, made myself available for you, and only you. Ive been on exactly one date since I met you, so yeah no sexual activity whatsoever. I didnt even try. What was the point? The moment you came around I was off the market anyways. Didnt really matter. Everyone knew you held a mortgage against my heart, no one was gonna take that risk. I am so alone, mentally, emotionally, and especially physically, and all signs point to that not changing any time soon. Ill accept the consequences of my own actions and behavior, but you are also ultimately responsible for where I am at now. Dont fucking forget that.

    FUCK why can’t I just be fucking gay. I’ve got 99 problems, and a bitch is every single fucking one.

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    One Response to So Fucking Pathetic

    1. dilburt
      February 15, 2015 at 2:40 am

      You hate women because you give too much to them. So stop giving so much to them.

      In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this entire hate letter is your subconscious blowing up because you’ve hindered your homosexuality for so long.

      Just release the chains youre putting on yourself




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