I burnt that book and all the letters…you hear that audio. It made me feel almost free, and a little vindicated, and it made The King feel better too. Except when he listened to the audio of course. I think he understood my feelings a little more when he heard my crying as I read through them. But he knows that getting rid of those was sacred to me. It was a sign of my heart becoming his, all his. I went back to that spot later and picked up a small burnt scrap of the cover. I’m still deciding if keeping it is wrong.
I wish you would stop emailing me. I know in my heart that we are true friends but I’m in love with The King. I know it’s going to hurt you every time I respond because I will remind you, freshly, that those 4 years are over now. And I know it’s going to hurt you every time I don’t respond because you feel abandoned.
It’s hard to explain that I don’t regret that time a few weeks ago that I told you I love you, yet I don’t want it to happen again. You are so simple. He is so simple. I feel like I’m one complicated Goddess who is at odds with her divinity between two soul-mates. Our 4 years was our infinity and now it’s time to spend the rest of my life with The King. I bet all 3 of our souls have been intertwined over vast life-times. But there’s no arguing that he’s my twin flame. We are literally the same damn soul. He can probably feel what I’m feeling right now, and is wondering if I’m alright.
Puppydog, you were my rock. Please stay strong darling. You are meant for greatness, and I’ll be damned if you break now. When I am hurting now, I try and transform that sadness into creative fuel. It’s a good tactic. I bet a lot of the greats were heartbroken angels too.
True friends forever. No matter what.