• Tainted.

    by  • February 12, 2015 • Betrayal • 0 Comments

    Has anyone every been into something and know it had an ending coming along? Try being in a relationship for over a decade and having to learn about your partner in the most dramatic way possible. To get a simple I Love You out of them takes a millions of actions on your part in order to receive it. Think of Mario the game, where he needs to finish all of these battles in order to rescue the Princess from Evil. He sacrificed his life for her, just so he can see how much he loves her. Well I feel like I’m Mario and he’s the one I’m rescuing daily. Instead I get no gratitude or sense of love. But he buys me things in order to replace his absence of affection because that’s the way he expresses his love to me. BULLSHIT. I honestly think this partner of mine has mental problems. Something must’ve happened to him when he was younger that scared him for life. When I say that I have proven to him over and over again that I am trustworthy, reliable, lovable, and it seems like that’s not helping. Heck, I even built a home with him and a family and still I feel like I’m not all the way in. The icing on the cake is that I caught him having an affair with a girl from another state. He doesn’t know that I know yet because he’s so into himself that he hasn’t noticed a change in ME! The most pathetic part about it all is that I don’t have the BALLS to approach him about it because I’M afraid he will leave me or even worse deny it! So every day that passes by I think of how he was with this girl, how he continues to lie to me about this girl, and how he has betrayed everything we have for this girl. I come to think of it now, does he love me or is he used to me? If this is love I want nothing to do with it. How can I better myself when my partner is constantly bringing me down? How can I love someone who treats me this way? I am emotionally drained and full of resentment and if I were someone else I would leave right away but of course my heart is tying me to him or maybe I am just afraid of knowing that maybe he really doesn’t love me.

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