• Letting it go

    by  • February 4, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 1 Comment

    I have written several anonymous letters on here. However, each time it was on a different guy that I felt betrayed me, didn’t treat me right, was disrespectful, and/or was just a plain out ass in my opinion. I couldn’t understand being in my thirties, that I’m still feeling hopelessly and quite honestly, hurt with a new guy that I get emotionally and physically invested in. I had to take a step back….I have friends that are married. Girls that used to be known as “sluts” getting engaged. I have even seen people go through really bad addictions, have kids from other men, but find a person who doesn’t care about that and really want to take care of them. Yet, I cannot find this for myself and I don’t even have issues!!!! You can’t help but analyze. Then I started thinking…maybe it’s me; it has to be me. There is no way that a girl with no issues, records, kids, dysfunction, can still be single and the above have mates or someone who wants to take care of them. It really boggles me. Am I wearing sunglasses in the shade? The guys that like me, I don’t like that way, nor will I ever. The ones that I like, just use me for their sexual gratification and I always hope for more. Maybe one day…when the timing is right…the feelings will be mutual. It’s still just a jigsaw puzzle that I can’t piece together. I totally embrace my independence and the fact that I have learned how to be alone, but I cannot lie and say that I like it

    One Response to Letting it go

    1. jess
      February 4, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      I am in the same boat. I do have issues and it has taken me a long time to see it. Desperate in love is a good way to label it and I have trouble finding the balance. I have come to the conclusion that I have to work hard for love and wait until I find someone who will earn my respect; this has been far from my past and especially over the last few years. You are worth waiting on exactly the things you need to feel secure in a relationship and I will learn not to equate physical intimacy with commitment or confuse affection for love.

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