Dear Theater Kids,
I know I’ll never be one of you guys, no matter how hard I try. Trust me, I’ve been trying for years. I went with instruments instead of singing and dancing. Too late to change that. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. It’s just that I want to be accepted by you guys, not just the other pit players. Even with them I’m across the room, surrounded by instruments.
The fall musical was the best and worst experience of my life. Even listening to the music now never fails to put me in the weirdest mood, a mix of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. This was my chance to shine, to get a fresh new start and make some friends that shared my love for all things Broadway. I want to slap my younger self in the face and tell her to toughen up because it’s never going to be that way. The least you guys could’ve done was say hello. I wouldn’t have minded hugs. I love hugs. But you wouldn’t know that, would you? Did half of you even know my name?
Thank you to the people that did know my name and actually talked to me when I asked them a question. You were lovely and helped make the whole experience a nicer one. To everyone else, I hope you learn from your mistakes and try to become a better person, especially when a fellow musician/theater fan tries to start a conversation.
Rehearsals and the shows were Nirvana, a place where I truly felt like I belonged. When I played, I was the happiest I’d been in ages. It was offstage that hurt. And that’s the worst part, knowing that there’s a whole world full of happiness going on right in front of me that I’ll always see but never truly be a part of.