This isn’t an angry letter. It’s just everything I wish I could of said while we were hanging out.
You know how I told you about that journal? This is pretty much from it.
I started hanging out with you and at first it was really uncomfortable, pretty much because you had the same attitude as me. People that want more than you can give are horrible.
But when we started fully hanging out, I realised that you were amazing. I doubt I could ever put it into words how I’m amazing I thought you were. You’re so smart, caring and funny. Before I met you I felt like I was pretending to be someone that everyone I knew was expecting me to be. I’ve never felt so relaxed than when I was with you. But obviously when I stopped pretending, I realised that I was exactly the person you didn’t want.
You know how we would sit in my room and discuss how irritating girls were that wanted something other than what we were offering? I was one of them. I wanted you. Not in an ownership way, in a way that I wanted to make sure you were always okay. Not that if you ever felt sad it would be bad, just that if you ever felt any emotions ever than happiness, I would like to be there for you.
Obvously that’s what you don’t want so you’re now seeing a guy who can provide you with a child that is going to fix everything. Jess, it’s not. You’re in no state to raise a child.
All I want is for you to be lovely, like you already are.
Just so you know, I love you. I hope you sort out your issues because I’m leaving. I can’t deal with your decisions.