• To the Man I Think I’m Falling For

    by  • February 3, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Dating • 0 Comments

    I realize how much you’ve been through in your life. I understand that people have basically treated you as disposable your entire life. I understand that your friendships haven’t been real friendships. I understand that people have made fun of you because of your disability. I understand that people have not always given you a fair chance because they assume things based on the fact that you do have a disability. I understand that women in the past have used you and taken advantage of you. I understand that your experience makes it hard for you to trust me. But, there are a few things that I want you to know.

    First of all, your disability is a part of who you are. I care about you, so I accept your disability. It doesn’t affect how I feel about you. Actually, the fact that you have overcome your disability and that you are where you are today is inspiring. It tells me that you can do anything you set your mind to and that you don’t let it get in the way of the things that are important to you. Honestly, that makes you even more attractive to me.

    I respect you. I respect your job and your experience. I respect the fact that you waited until you were over your past to start something new. I respect you because you have been open and honest with me about some aspects of your life. I hope that you’ll come to trust me enough to trust me with everything.

    I’m not going to take advantage of you. I fully believe that a relationship involves both give and take. I want you to know that I appreciate the fact that you’re willing to pay for us when we go out, but, believe it or not, I’m more than willing to pay for us sometimes (just don’t expect it). I’m good with driving to see you, but I need you to be good with driving to see me sometimes.

    I know that you’re shy and that you want to make sure that I have a good time when we’re together. I know that you like the fact that I’m a strong, independent woman who takes care of herself. But, I want you to know that I want you to be the man in the relationship, I need you to be the man in the relationship. I want you to open doors for me, pull out my chair, and let me order first (even if I’m not quite used to it). I want you to take the initiative. If you want to hold my hand, hold my hand. If you want to put your arm around me, do it. If you’re not sure if it’s okay, just ask (I’ll probably say yes). I want you to know that I don’t need you to take me to fancy or expensive places (except, maybe, on special occasions). I’m totally fine if our date is walking around the park and then stopping for coffee or ice cream. I’m happy just spending time with you. Some of my favorite moments have been those where we are just together, not really doing anything, but we’re just together.

    If you are the man for me, if you are “the one,” I want you to know that I’m willing to compromise. However, I need you to be willing to compromise too because there are a lot of things that would require compromising. I don’t see why it has to be an all or nothing type of scenario. I see no reason why we can’t have it all—it just might look different that we dreamed.

    I haven’t known you that long, but since I’ve met you, I feel like my whole life has changed. I feel like my whole world was suddenly turned upside down. I know you could take care of me. I know that I miss you when I don’t see you or talk to you for a few days. I know that I think about you, about us, all the time. I love talking to you. You challenge me.

    I want you to know that I’m not like most women. I have no intention of going anywhere. I’m a loyal person and once I decide to be someone’s friend, I’m their friend, no questions asked. I know I like you and I think I might even be falling for you. I care about you and I value your thoughts and your opinions. I don’t want you to hide around me. I know that you’ll open up in your own time and I’ll wait until you’re ready. Nevertheless, I want you to know that whatever it is that you’ve been through in the past, it’s in the past. I promise not to judge, I just want to understand because I know that it still affects you in some way. I simply want to love you, brokenness and all. Here’s a secret: I’m broken too.

    Sincerely,

    Girl Who is Unexpectedly Falling in Love

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