The people we used to be… we would laugh, play, run, and do all the things every average child would do. We were happiest when we were together, and everyday we would promise each other, that we would be together forever. I thought that it would never end. We lived a perfect life. We had dogs that we loved and cared for with all of our hearts… houses twice the size the ones we live in now… we had loving families… and the best friends… not to mention we lived in San Diego. We were so innocent at the time. We knew nothing but our friendship, the love of Christ, and “our” world. Well that’s the kind of person that i was, that we were. Happy, laughing, energetic children.
All of that changed with one simple phrase… We’re Moving… that one phrase destroyed my world, our world. Within a few seconds i was gone. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone. I couldn’t understand why. The last few times that we moved, i was so little i don’t remember anything. This time despite still being young, i could understand so much more. The day i told you, we cried together hand in hand. On my last day you stood with me and we didn’t stop crying for 3 hours. On my last day i said goodbye and left you behind. I miss you.
I remember you told me that you had to go to therapy after i left because it was too hard. You told me you cried everyday. You told me you hurt. You told me you’d miss me. You told me that it would be okay. But look at me. I don’t have the money to go to therapy, nor do i have the need to go anymore. I had a hard time when i moved. I had no friends. I sat alone at lunch. I cried everyday, alone. i hurt more than I’ve ever hurt before. I missed you more than I’ve ever missed someone, let alone something. You said it would be okay… but its not okay. It’s harder now then it’s ever been before. It’s been three years since I’ve seen you. Living here is easier. I have friends now and i don’t sit alone. But it’s still hard. I still miss you. I still tell people that it’s going to be okay… that I’m okay. It’s not. I need you now more than ever. But i don’t want to hurt you or anyone. You’ll probably never see this and I’m okay with that. As long as you’re okay, i can tell people that I’m okay.
Now we’ve changed. Though we’re still young we’re no longer children. I cried alone everyday hating the life that i had. Till one day i realized just how much i had in California. In California all i wanted was to move back to the places i lived before. I didn’t realize how much i would miss it. Now that i finally know how lucky i was, i realized i didn’t want to make the same mistake again. Though there isn’t much that my new home has to offer compared to California, i will cherish it none the less. I never know when my world could crash again. I never know who will tell me. I’ll never know where we’ll go next. But i do know this, wherever, whenever, and whoever it is, this time I’ll be ready.
The people we used to be were so innocent. We laughed for hours on end. We were okay. We didn’t need anything but each other. Now we’re scarred and hurt. Hurting but getting better. We’re smiling through the pain. But who knows maybe in a few years we’ll be able to say that that is the kind of people we used to be.
I miss you. Though we’re thousands of miles apart, like we promised, we’ll be together forever.