• I’ll Be Better

    by  • February 1, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 3 Comments

    Over time I have grown to become extremely talented in faking confidence. I can’t even count the number of times in a day when someone tells me that I am the happiest person they know, or that I am so lucky to have so much confidence in myself. To be completely honest, I am so uncomfortable with who I am that it almost makes me physically ill. I have resorted to things that I never thought I’d do; I have hurt myself in many ways that have left physical, emotional and mental scars – and even with those things, nobody can see the hurt that I am inflicting on myself. I don’t expect anyone to fix me, I don’t want anyone to fix me because I know that ultimately this is a battle that I must conquer independently. I try to help myself, but I don’t really know how to become better. I want to be better. I want to have the confidence that everyone else sees in me. I don’t know how to wrap my head around the notion that I’m not terribly disgusting. One day I’ll be better, and I cannot wait for that day.

    3 Responses to I’ll Be Better

    1. Where does it come from?
      February 1, 2015 at 11:12 am

      Why do you have such a low opinion of yourself? What do you think?

    2. alone, but never
      February 1, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      It always does. Dont rush. Doesnt matter how small your step or little your movement. As long as your steps take you forward, never back. You are not alone, you’ll never be. Others go through this, too. But to overcome you mustnt sit still. You gotta keep walking. I know its hard but keep walking. And never look back.

    3. the crooked mind
      February 2, 2015 at 6:28 pm

      I know you will get better. I was the same way. I’m still not comfortable with myself around my family, but I’ve learned not to give a damn with my friends. You should try the same. Your friends should be there not only to rely on you but also to help you. Its going to be tough to open up, but keeping things bottled up inside just makes it worse. I don’t know anything about you… however I believe you can make it pass this sown point in your life. I believe in you. Best of luck in the future.

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