Has something like this happened to you? What follows is my personal experience. Experience that lasted years. Very insidious. I don’t label it narcissistic. What matters is that it was toxic.
The cycle: (A)Gives adoration-> (A)Fast forwarding of relationship-> (B)Other person feels overwhelmed and yet basks in attention, especially if they have been mistreated in past relationships/family of origin.
Relationship begins to feel boring so (A)person causes drama-> (B)Wants “perfect” relationship to last so they try to “fix” it.
Slowly,(A) adoration turns to knocking (B) off pedestal. (B) is addicted to feeling adoration and begins to overcompensate/attempt fix relationship/themselves to maintain “high”.
Red flags become more abundant. (B)Cognitive Dissonance
Relationship tends to have extreme highs and lows.
(A) Promises do not produce actions (B) Cognitive Dissonance persists until it makes them completely question their own judgement/reality.
(B) Can no longer ignore warning signs/feelings of abuse-> (A) hoovering/manipulation/projection-> (B) sucked back in. (B) Prolonged cycle adds to self-hatred, deflated self-esteem, harder to leave, unable to make changes. Cycle becomes normalized. (B) Does more while (A) does less.
(B) Leaves. (A) Only gives as much effort needed to suck (B) back in.
Relationship depletes. (B) Wants validation that once was there/accepts less and less (A) responds with devaluing and trickle truth/affection.
Deterioration of relationship until A or B leaves. (B) will not get better until they take back their power, see reality and regain sense of self.
(A) Attempts to re-enter life of (B) via “apology”, “turning over a new leaf”, challenge of new boundaries, validation, etc…Always seems to happen when (B) is FINALLY getting better.
Cycle begins again if contact or relationship persists->(B) feels worse than previous experience because “they should have known better” this time around.
Cycle will only end when (B) kicks (A) out of life PERMANENTLY.