I guess if i had to write you a letter this would be it little man.
I’m sorry i never got to meet you. i’m sorry that I couldn’t save your life. I was deep in addiction at the time you were conceived and i was sober by the time i found out. If i would have known she was pregnant with you I would have helped. Got her sober and fixed what broken pieces she had. But she never told me. She never even fucking told me you were inside her. 9 months later your born, the doctors says you were already dead. fuck man i could have saved your little life i would have saved your little life. a baby dying from an overdose was never the way i thought i would lose my first son. Your mom is stable now though i think you’d be proud of her. they put her in a good home with good doctors. Her brain couldn’t handle losing you and i wasn’t there to help so i blame myself too. I know in my heart that it’s all my fault. the blame is only with me. I ignored her cries for help. I’M sorry i thought she was lying. I didn’t think you were there. She cried wolf too many times for me to ever think that it could be true. I just want you to know that one day i’ll make you proud. One day I’ll be the man you could have grown up to be proud of. I’m sorry little man, I really fucking am.