The way you left was awful, what you did to me was despicable, i wish to all the gods i was capable of hating you but im not. Im not you, im not like you, i am better than you and i am stronger than you think and so i do still love you, more than anything, even after all the horrid manipulitive emotionally abusive things you did. You tore my heart out when you left and left a lump of black coal in its place. You taught me that love and trust only make you weak and vulnerable. I dont know that ill ever trust a human being again. But i do know that my stupid, tortured, half dead heart still only beats for you.i wish it didnt. But it does, always has, always will. Part of me will always want the woman you once were to come back home…that woman was beautiful, warm, loving, loyal, funny, smart, and brave. The woman you became is the polar opposite. Beautiful outside and ugly as a crone inside. I hope you come back one day, the real you.