I’m so confused about everything. I know that when I met “Carl” I was still stuck on “John” and I wasn’t looking for anything. Even though I was having a great time with Carl for several months when ever John wanted to hook up, we did. I wanted things between me and John to workout. Even though I know they never will. He always makes it clear he isn’t interested in anything more than just sex. I then decided to end things for good with John and focus on me.
During this time I also distanced myself from Carl and now months later we still hangout and I continue to get mixed signals from him. He calls and keeps in touch but when we go out in large groups he ditches me and flirts with other women. Then he still calls and wants to act like everything is okay. Well, I realized Carl and me aren’t compatible and since I was hurt, I hooked up with John again. Which made my confusion even bigger.
I can’t stay quiet and pretend things are fine between me and Carl. I feel used and hurt. I don’t want Carl to call me or text me. He is so oblivious to my feelings or how his actions make me feel. I need space to think. I’m starting to have feelings for him and I’m afraid they aren’t mutual. How do I tell him without coming off as crazy that I need him to leave me alone. I need him to be honest with me.
As for John, I’m not sure I want to continue to hook up with him because sex is okay but never great. If I do continue I will put distance between us so I don’t get attached to him again.
I need some advice. Please no judgmental comments just looking for some honest feedback. Maybe the best thing to do is ditch both and find someone new. But dating is hard. All I really want is a good person who can give me companionship and emotional intimacy. A little physical love doesn’t hurt either. I just need to protect my heart. I care about people too easily.