• worthless

    by  • November 25, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 3 Comments

    When we talk about the things that bother you from my past I know you’re only trying to help me and make me never want to be in that position again. I don’t think you realize how worthless and pathetic i feel, and its so much worse because you always unintentionally bring them up at the worst times. I never thought these things could ever hurt the one person that treats me like gold and deserves the world. i don’t think you realize you don’t have to tell me these things for me to never do them again. i act so tough around you while inside i hate myself to no end. you’re the one person who has finally made me feel like my life has meaning again and you make me feel like im worth something again…and that scares the hell out of me because you could so easily walk away.

    3 Responses to worthless

    1. you are not
      November 25, 2014 at 1:49 am

      Thank you, author. What you write helps me to understand.

      I can tell you, what I see in this. You fear to lose them, because you think your worth depends on them. When you say that your person treats you “like gold and deserves the world” you put them on a pedestal. I get from this: you are passive, feel helpless and wait to get treated. You hope for them to save you. That’s the trap for a care giving person. They will enjoy to be needed, eventually they will think that they are important, eventually they will believe that you can’t live without them. Because that’s what you believe too. And the vicious cycle begins. Eventually they will change their behavior. They will behave like a parent, treat you like a child, which will make you feel much more worthless and helpless.

      BUT: You are not worthless, your worth doesn’t depend on another person, you are not helpless and you don’t have to be passive. You might not believe me, because it’s not that easy for someone who is truly convinced from the opposite. That is my issue. How to make this clear? How to make someone believe what is so obvious to me and the rest of the world? In my opinion it doesn’t help to pamper you, because you don’t need to get pampered. You need help to see your worth. You probably can’t imagine how difficult this can be for someone who loves you, but doesn’t want to fall into the codependency trap.

    2. somebunny
      November 25, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      You are not is right. And said behavior will led to resentment on their part and theyll feel taken for granted and used. They arent your mommy. That will lead them to walk away. It can be prevented. Spoil the shit out of them AND take care of your shit

    3. @somebunny
      November 26, 2014 at 2:02 am

      Whom are you talking to? @author or @you are not?

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