First of all I want to say that english is not my native language, so excuse my grammar mistakes, please.
My dearest friend,
I have a confession to make. I want you to know that you mean to me a lot. I miss you so much. I would give anything to have a chance to be with you right now.
I´m thinking about you a lot. What are you doing? What are you thinking about? Do you miss me? I want to know everything what is going on with you.
I´m so grateful that we met seven months ago. You were great colleague to work with. Even if you were so strict and moody sometimes, it was so good to work with you. You have been supportive, helpful and caring. I don´t think I would last it for so long if you were not there. Ship life was not easy for me and the job was so stressful. I was so lucky to have you, my paisano, there. I remember our nights in crew bar. How you were telling me crazy stories from your life, how we were laughing, talking, swearing and joking in our language. How we called each other by nicknames (“ksichte-drzticko”). How others kept telling us that we are such a cute couple and we answered “we are not a couple, never, ever”. I remember the nights when we get drunk, when we danced together and had fun, when you hugged me when I was upset, when you texted me “good night, love”, when you were joking about getting married, have a baby and move to Bali. I remember when I left, I was at the airport and you send me email “Don´t make drama and come back!” When you admitted that it was weird without me there, that you had nobody to call and you were like without soul.
You arrived home three weeks after me and I remember how I got nervous when I was waiting at the airport. But I was so happy to see you and couldn´t wait for our vacation together. We spend days on the road together and we got to know each other more. It was fun with you. It was relaxing. It was perfect. I loved it. I remember these magical moments we had. (I´m not sure how you felt, but for me these moments were magical). When we were lying on the bed, hugging and talking. When we went for a walk in that romantic park, quietly sitting on a bench. When I looked in your eyes and saw tenderness, love and care. I felt harmony in these moments. I know you felt something too, but I think both of us were afraid of it and that is why we didn´t try anything.
I wanted to kiss you so many times, caress you, hug you, to show you how I feel about you. But it was not easy for me. I mean, I tried, but clumsily. I don´t know if you got it.
I am careful about showing my feelings. I am shy. I am afraid to love. I don´t know when and how, but I fell for you. I care about you a lot. I trust you. I know I don´t talk much, but I feel free with you and I can tell you things I can´t tell to anybody else. You are my very good friend and I want you to be part of my life.
I wish I knew what is going on with you now. I know you are busy, you have some worries and problems to solve. But I wish you allowed me to help you. You know I´m here for you, you can call me anytime and you can always count on me, I told you that. But you are not communicating and it scares me.
Now your vacation is almost over and you are leaving soon. It will be long six months. I hope that you will give me chance to say goodbye and we will stay in touch. That I will see you again. I regret that I resigned. I know now that I could do one more contract if you were there with me. I just realized it too late. But I want you to know that I can wait for you. I know you are looking for serious relationship. You told me once, that I don´t know what I want. Well, I do know. I want relationship and “happily ever after”. And I want to have that with you. I want us to try to be together, to see if we could work it out. Because I like you a lot. And I know you like me too.
I just want you to know how much I miss you. How much I want to be with you. I´m thinking about you all the time. You are here with me when I´m falling asleep, you are in my dreams, it´s you who I am thinking about when I wake up in the morning. I don´t focus on my work, I just have you in my mind.
I want you to know how I fell about you. I want to know how you fell about me.