I think about you a lot. Two summers ago wasn’t that long and you lasted in my mind and my heart for a lot longer than just the time we spent together. Even though we were never together together. And it scares me that I still don’t know why you had such a profound impact on me and my thought process and my actions and everything else for a really long time. It worries me that I was in your car once, but every time I pass that car in any shade of dark blue, I think about how it smelled and I can’t remember whatever stupid small talk I made. I lean over my steering wheel and remember talking about how I hated to drive and that I hated standard cars and I get embarrassed. More than half of the people I crane my neck to see are just housewives driving their sons to baseball or hockey, and the rest are just never you. But that thrilling feeling just never goes away-I could still see you. Who knows what the hell I would do though, even though I’ve thought about it a lot. I really need to play it cool and collected-I need to pull my shit together and act really confident, start it on my own basis. But I doubt that will happen.