• Too much mumbling,

    by  • November 20, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    I guess I wanted to be important to you. I think I still think about you because it was a pattern in my life, wanting to be important to people that didn’t care about me, and then you turned out to be the same as them, and instead of clinging this time, I let go completely. I guess a part of me thinks that maybe you didn’t deserve the same treatment, but there’s another stronger, deeper part of me that is steady in my resolve. After all, didn’t I know this was the only way it could end? Didn’t I see this coming a million miles away? It’s funny how you can expect something, but still hope for different regardless. As steady as I feel about my actions, I guess that little part of me that had hoped for something different, a part of me clings to the notion that I’m not always wrong in certain respects. I guess it’s good because I guess I haven’t completely given up in all people, and maybe I can recognize patterns better, but there’s something very unsteady about my steadiness in my resolve. I don’t think it’s you – I like to believe that anyway – but this is uncharted territory for me. I think I’m just a little different than I expected with these decisions, both proud and terrified. Time will tell, I guess, the truth…

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    2 Responses to Too much mumbling,

    1. thoughts
      November 21, 2014 at 4:23 am

      What do we really know? Scientists try to make everything predictable, develop models and theories. You can’t predict everything anyways. I guess people who don’t think that much sometimes have a huge advantage. They go by trial and error, adopt directions in the process. They allow themselves to make mistakes – probably without knowing.


    2. Fear
      November 30, 2014 at 11:38 pm

      You said you knew it was going to end? Subconciously you have let fear(thinking about the future in this case) take hold & sadly you’ve been your own worst enemy by sabotaging what you had. Men can sense when a woman dies this as usually she starts to pull away & act differently? More arguments arise? So many things.



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