This is a letter I’m contemplating sending to a childhood friend whom I’ve always loved. She recently lost her brother, John, and I don’t want to make things worse by confusing her feelings, but it’s gotten to a point (7 years now since she moved away) where I don’t feel comfortable not taking the chance that she might possibly love me back.
I want to start this letter by saying how sorry I am that it has taken the passing of John for me to reach out to you. When I think of this horrible thing that has happened to you, it makes me want to sweep you out of Texas and to keep you safe here with me in Boston, but I know that the death of someone as dear as John with haunt no matter your physical location. In response to the heartbreak of his death, I feel compelled to express just how deeply I care for you, have always cared for you, and to explicitly tell you that I would drop everything and come to you or happily buy you a plane ticket to escape to me if that would make you happy. Before you and your family came into my life, I don’t think I knew how to love at all. To this day, you have been my first and truest love, the only person on the entire planet who I can completely say I would do anything for. I think about you almost every day and nothing compares to the memories we created as children together. With this letter, I want you to know that you have my love, my support, and my encouragement no matter the time, the place, the circumstances. I know that you have built yourself a full and beautiful life in the many years since our parting but my heart will always have a hole, a missing piece where you belong. I have loved you from the beginning, I love you now, and I will love you as long as I live. Ask anything of me and it is yours.