• Frustration

    by  • November 19, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 1 Comment

    I really don’t understand you sometimes, and I don’t know what to do.

    I could just forgive you. I could do what I always do; forgive even though you hurt me, again. Forgive you, because the code of honor by which I live my life says that when you’ve made a promise to a friend to always be loyal to them, you keep that promise. Loyalty isn’t gray. It’s black and white. I’ve been there for you countless times, and you used to be there for me.

    I could do the opposite, which is what everyone tells me to do- cut you off. Cut ties, say goodbye, or better yet, say nothing to you at all and allow our friendship to dissolve and become part of my memories. I never would have believed, when we first met, that you and I would ever crash and burn this way.

    I don’t know what to do. Part of me rebels at the idea of losing you, of losing us. We are the ultimate team. We both know it, we’ve both said it. People who have seen us together know it.

    The other half of me wants to finally stand up for myself and tell you that I won’t stand for the way you’ve been treating me lately… That whatever happened that broke our bond, it can’t be fixed, because for whatever reason, you don’t even want to try.

    Maybe that’s just where I’m getting hung up. Maybe it’s because I know you don’t care anymore and it makes me infinitely sad. How can two people who were so close, so inseparable, suddenly become strangers with shared memories? I miss us and you don’t. And that tells me everything.

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    One Response to Frustration

    1. Gemini
      November 19, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      I empathize with this, so hard. I wish I could say that it gets better but giving false hope is a cruel thing to do.

      /hugs




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