• Unsaid.

    by  • November 18, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 17 Comments

    My choice. My loss (maybe). I cannot be selfish, not at this point in my life when others depend on me. What I feel will remain unsaid for some time. Trust your intuition, gut feeling…I trust mine. Someday maybe, until then….life goes on.

    17 Responses to Unsaid.

    1. @author
      November 18, 2014 at 12:23 pm

      Well if you don’t see them as a loss or unsure then that could be all they need to hear. I know for me if I heard that from my person there would be no possibility for a “some day”. Maybe there never was.

    2. My gut
      November 18, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      My gut says you acted first, thought second, and are a cake eater. Sorry but it sounds like you past the selfish threshold long ago. My intuition says that whomever this is to dodged a huge bullet, I feel extremely sorry for the unknowing person who depends on you, and both need to drop kick you to the curb; in the gutter where you belong. Yeah, my gut says that’s about right. How did I do?

    3. tricia
      November 18, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      Is this about putting something on hold.. and if it were meant to be it will be?

    4. Maybe ...
      November 18, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      It’s hard to trust intuition and gut feelings. Life will go on anyway for everybody, there’s no choice about that … what’s wrong with being honest about how you feel? It might make it easier to deal with in the long run than remaining in the dark.

    5. and meanwhile
      November 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      selfish or not; someone’s on the other end of this, wanting to hear you care and hurting because they think you don’t

    6. Me73
      November 18, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      Good things come to those who … you know how the saying goes.

    7. Ya, no.
      November 18, 2014 at 2:03 pm

      You expect them to wait even though youve left things unsaid? You want them to trust their gut? How do you know their gut isnt telling them to give up on you. Good luck with that, hopefully they dont find someone who treats them better before youre ready to step up to the plate and stop letting excuses get in the way.

    8. B
      November 18, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      I agree with your thoughts. Especially when you have others that depend on you. It’s a hard choice, it’s a painful choice but at the end of the day I believe it’s the right choice. Good luck.

    9. no games
      November 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      Seems to oddly resonate with a post I made here, coincidentally. As someone who also experiences intuition of possibly similar nature, I thought I’d answer.

      Personally, I never trust mine completely, I always test first, if there is no proof there is no reason.
      Sometimes it’s possible for it to go the wrong way, bias is a terrible thing. We look for patterns that we know… and if previously we had terrible experiences we are inclined to view them that way.

      The point is, you are always limited to your perspective, this is why communication is important.
      Remember choosing no action is an action in itself, one that benefits no change and gives no answers.

      Leaving up for chance and passivity, you can only blame yourself.
      Sometimes you just need to tell someone, they may surprise you with their understanding, you can’t possibly know everything that makes a persons life and mind.

      People aren’t zebras, they’re not black and white.
      They are not you and cannot read minds, they have different perspectives and goals.
      Different fears and weaknesses.

      They are not perfect, they make mistakes.
      Ultimately it is willingness to try and the ability to be honest with oneself and other people about such things is the measure of maturity.

      Remember when you live in your head sometimes you forget that people only see your actions and here what you say, when you believe more in what is read between lines you forget that you have not really been clear at all. Don’t spend too much time in that world to the point of leaving the real one.

      People can have a million reasons for a simple action, sometimes it doesn’t matter the intention but the act itself, for the result stays the same regardless.

      …But then again what do I know? This is just my own personal bias anyway, I could be completely wrong.

      Good Luck anyway stranger.

    10. tricia
      November 18, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Why is everyone ripping into this.. maybe it goes deeper than you think? Maybe circumstances are barriers that make this impossible right now.. if its love both these ppl feel then when the time is right then its never wrong.. everyone always takes things negatively. This place is a way to vent by writing not commenting.. if youre still bitter inside. Write more letters and let it out.. dont take it out on others who have never met nor hurt you. !

    11. Writer
      November 18, 2014 at 8:30 pm

      Thank you for all of your responses. We all have different experiences, therefore we share different opinions. Some barriers are made out of fear of the unknown. When in doubt, most likely we will choose the side we know for sure we can count on.
      “Let every eye negotiate for itself
      And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
      Against whose charms faith melteth in blood.”
      ~William Shakespeare πŸ™‚

    12. Another perspective
      November 18, 2014 at 11:59 pm

      I agree with Tricia, I read more into this letter and hope you don’t mind me commenting Author?
      It seems clear you have a ‘now’ person and a ‘someday’ person … for want of a better word it sounds like you are martyring yourself albeit you feel it’s the right thing to do.
      What would your ‘now’ person think if they found out about your ‘someday’ person? What would they do? Would they want you to stay out of a sense of duty? How deeply do you actually feel about your ‘someday’ person? Do you love them? Do they love you? They say that if you love two people pick the second, as if you truly loved the first you would never have fallen for the second. Mine is just a different perspective, to provoke thoughts thats all. I feel I understand your situation – it doesn’t make you an awful person if you have fallen for somebody else, it makes you human (as much as many will condemn and criticise – there but for the Grace of god/people in glass houses etc etc!)
      But I feel you are hiding your fear under the guise of ‘being virtuous’ and ‘doing the right thing’ … meanwhile your ‘someday’ person may be suffering a great deal, loving you but not knowing if you feel the same (do they deserve that?) …. and the other side of this is that in reality you have already hurt your ‘now’ person, you have possibly already sealed the fate of that relationship they just don’t know it. Ultimately (and you can take this advice or leave it obviously) … I assume you can’t be honest with your ‘now’ person, but if you are in love with your ‘someday’ person be honest with them, because then you might stand a chance of them being there for you and staying there for you. If they do feel you don’t care then you might arrive at ‘someday’ and find they’ve gone! Good luck Author

    13. Gemini
      November 19, 2014 at 7:26 am

      Personally, and this is just subjectively my personal opinion, I’d rather know and live with the fact that it could never happen than to face the impossible mountain of unsurety for an unspecified amount of time. The latter is too much to ask of someone.

    14. Maria
      November 19, 2014 at 12:23 pm

      Thank you for all of your responses. We all have different experiences, therefore we share different opinions. By “others” i was referring to a child, family. Nothing comes before a child. Not for me. I will rather just wonder then give in to the temptation that could eventually cause pain to people I love. Barriers are built out of fear, not of the other…but fear that lies within. We can’t loose something we never had…and we all agreed that life goes on, time will tell. No pressure, no expectations. I don’t even know how I found this site, but I’m glad I did. πŸ™‚
      “Let every eye negotiate for itself
      And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
      Against whose charms faith melteth in blood.”
      ~William Shakespeare πŸ™‚

    15. Writer
      November 19, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Sorry, I tried to respond yesterday but it wouldn’t post. So I responded again..looks like I did it twice.

    16. @another perspective
      November 19, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      Mind reader. πŸ™‚ ~writer.

    17. Writer
      November 19, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      Maria is not my name, but there is connection. Maybe this letter that caused so much controversy πŸ™‚ gets to the right person, maybe it never does. I am stubborn, proud and unselfish when it comes to those that love me. For others that don’t truly know me, maybe one day they will get to know me…or not, I will take that risk. I am not asking of anyone to wait…I just believe in: “if it’s meant to be, it will be”. Again, no expectations! The End. πŸ™‚

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