• rats

    by  • November 18, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 1 Comment

    You know what I think? I think you didn’t contact him looking for me. I think you contacted him since you would be geographically closer to him in the following few weeks.

    “Luckily” for me, I’ve had a couple of other old “friends” just like you who had no boundaries for their competitive natures and lack of consideration, and on top of that he just wasn’t interested and never will be. Why do so many females even WANT a guy who would leave someone for them anyway? Does it make you feel better about yourselves?

    Know what else? Yeah, I caught that jab about how I’ve gone downhill, and I won’t deny it. I have, absolutely. I used to be exuberant, beautiful, and above all- kind. Those things really pissed you off, huh? Just had to prove to yourself that you were better? I am just mentally exhausted. It still doesn’t put you above me, I hate to tell you. The world is filled with people like you.

    What is wrong with all of you girls from __________? Don’t you know that as long as you are clambering over one another and trying to assure yourselves that you are the most desirable/successful/whatever, you are squandering what might have otherwise been lifelong friendships? Yeah, I’ve let people like you get me down over the years….

    I used to wish that I could be a put-everyone-in-their-place type of gal, because they don’t get stepped on, and I’ve been stepped on more than once. But I’ve come to realize that whether you are the person doing the clambering or the person being stepped on, you still aren’t really getting anywhere.

    You are still a rat.

    To the well-meaning people who will advise to rise above, forgive, etc etc… I appreciate the advice, but it still SUCKS to have to deal with people like this at all. I feel so beaten down over the years there aren’t even words to express it. The real shame is that life in itself isn’t that hard. Traveling and beautiful places and school, careers, all of those things are interesting and make life worth living. It is PEOPLE who make it difficult for others. Why?

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    One Response to rats

    1. continued
      November 18, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      The worst thing is that it is so hard to spot people who will lie to your face, backbite, omit, and otherwise stab you from behind. Those people are often well-liked because they care about “how to win friends and influence people” and craft their lives around being likable.

      People like this have also championed the whole positivity, forgive-and-forget movement. So you might spend years and years in relationships or friendships with people who do things that they know will be directly harmful, and then you are supposed to forgive and forget for your own well being. And yet you are left with the knowledge that people are liars and cheats, and years of wasted time and unhappiness, an absolutely crushed heart, and those people either move on forgiven and guilt-free, or unforgiven but with you being seen as petty and being told not to be a victim and just get over it.

      and yes, I know I’m not perfect either. It doesn’t make it okay.

      The moral of the story? “Life is pain, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.”



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