• Free advice.

    by  • November 18, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 3 Comments

    Placing blame never solves any problem. Understand every one of us is flawed. People by nature make mistakes and continue making mistakes throughout their lives. Accept what has happened, apologize for your wrongdoings, and forgive those who have hurt you. You will be much happier if you do. I promise you.

    Don’t you want to be happy?

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    3 Responses to Free advice.

    1. I'm happy
      November 18, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      Spoken like a saint or a person who routinely hurts others and thinks “I’m sorry” should forgive all. Let me give you an example that isn’t so black and white. Man has a long-term relationship. Man cheats. Man cheats with someone who doesn’t know he’s involved. Man asks for forgiveness. Unknowing affair partner starts investigating and finds out that man’s GF/wife is manipulated in the same way as affair partner using “forgiveness” as a gaslighting technique. Is this “forgivable”? Some people are just assholes. That has no bearing on future happiness. That can be chalked up to someone being a manipulative dipshit.


    2. reader
      November 18, 2014 at 4:00 pm

      Never read anything truer!
      Starting living by that philosophy a year ago and my life has gotten a lot better!
      Holding hateful feelings only ever hurts yourself.


    3. Author
      November 18, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      @imhappy – yes, spoken from a true saint, ha ha. No, just someone who practices what they preach. Forgiving someone and staying in a relationship with someone who is cheating are not the same thing. Both women in your story would hopefully be strong enough to walk away if said man continued to lie and cheat. I still stand firmly that both women should work towards forgiving said man who has done them wrong, he should apologize for his bad behavior to both women and anyone else he may have harmed in the process, and all parties should accept what has happened for what it is and move on in their respective ways. Trust me, all will be happier. Is he an evil person, in a true sense? No, probably not. Has he made poor decisions and one day hopefully will learn something from his prior misdeeds. Are the women in this story innocent? Again, most likely not. If we stop placing blame on each other we can understand that there is a good chance all parties have played a significant role in all parts of the said event (the before the during and the after).

      @ reader- thank you for your comment. I truly believe one can not be really happy or reach their full potential f they harbor hateful feelings. I understand people go through horrific and heartbreaking situations and I would never suggest being a doormat or someone who does not stand up for themselves. I just wish more people in the world ecognized that holding on to hatred only negatively affects them.



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